May luck smile upon you!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Time
Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.
Monday, March 14, 2011
What is an Appropriate Sympathy Gift?
I came across another article I wanted to share. What were some of the best gifts that you received?
What is an Appropriate Sympathy Gift?
By Sharae Taylor
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is hard to know what to say or how to show your support. When you want to provide comfort and support and show your concern for a family member, a friend, or an associate, a personalized gift is always an ideal choice. The best gifts are those given and chosen from the heart. It says that you really care and have taken the time to think about the time after the initial grief of losing a loved one ... during the alone and lonely times.
Here is a list of some elegant and comforting gifts, that are simple and appropriate expressions of sympathy for the family and are alternatives to the standard flowers ...
• Angel Painting ... personalized
• Jewelry ... pendant or bracelet
• Music CD
• Book of Poems or poem written by you
• Gift Basket personalized to the family
• Photo Album or Scrapbook of good times shared
• Plant a Tree
• Favorite Photograph Framed
• Memorial Garden Stepping Stone or Bench
• Angel Suncatcher
• Journal for Memories
• Angel Candle and Votive Holder
• Memory Box
• Table Fountain
• Bible or Rosary
Remember, there are no words when someone has experienced the loss of a loved one and when flowers aren't enough to express your caring ... an elegant way to comfort the heart ...personalize it for the family or person you want to bring comfort to ... a continuing expression of love and support with loving thoughts in sympathy ...
In the following weeks be sure and stay in touch with the family or individual by making personal contact with them. Plan a trip or outing if the relationship is a close one. The gift of continual caring and friendship is always appropriate and well received if given from the heart. Sometimes it is the intangible gift that is most appropriate and lasting.
Sharae Taylor of AngelsbySharae.com - http://www.angelsbysharae.com is a well known Intuitive Angel Artist whose paintings are in world wide collections and published author in magazines and ezines. To view Sharae's Angelic art and for further information about the "Angel of Comfort", one of many personalized Angel paintings, visit her website at: http://www.angelsbysharae.com/AngelofComfortGallery.html
Friday, March 11, 2011
There Is a Sacredness in Tears
Feel free to share, a link back to Honoring Our Angels is always appreciated!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Reaching out to others
I wanted to share with you all a great video about a program that helps bereaved parents receive support from other bereaved parents. I love these kinds of stories! It always restores my faith in humanity. I am truly amazed by all of you and how much you do to reach out to others in need. We need more news stories like these!
I tried to embed the video on this post but for some reason it wouldn't show up whenever I posted it, so here is the link to the video.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Coping When a Child Dies
I wanted to share this article with you from the newsletter of Alive Alone in 1997. It's written by a bereaved mother and I think shares the raw pain of loss....
COPING WHEN A CHILD DIES
Rosemary’s son, Arthur, 9, was hit by a car while waiting on his bicycle to cross the street at the end of the driveway on Dec. 7, 1986.
The first few days I went through the motions of preparing for Arthur’s funeral. Then I went through the phase of not sleeping and eating. I would wake up at night and think, “ Maybe he’s alive.”
I went to a therapist but he didn’t know what to do with me because he had not experienced the death of his child. He finally suggested Compassionate Friends where I met people who could help me with the grief process.
I had a “screaming-meemees” crying fit about four months after Arthur died. I think if any of the neighbors had heard me they would have called the police to have me committed. Then I remembered someone saying at the support group that they had this experience and when it happens you should just go with it. It really did release the pressure.
All the big days became a source of renewed pain - Christmas, Easter, Halloween, the first day of school, birthdays, death dates and to this day I go away on Mother’s Day.
I began to hate going to the supermarket. If I went down the cereal aisle, I would encounter the Cheerios Arthur used to eat, and in the cookie aisle it would be the Oreos he dunked in his milk at night.
After taking a fall my doctor said, “Ro, do you understand you might have permanent paralysis.” I replied, “I’ve been through the worst, nothing else can happen to me.”
By spring I was angry. Daffodils were emerging and Arthur always brought me my first daffodil of spring. I wanted to stomp on the daffodils! But this time I dug up the daffodils and took them to Arthur at the cemetery.
Whatever the season or stage of grief the support group was there, a place to talk about your feelings, how one can break down in tears for no apparent reason, and how to respond to questions about your child.
We really have a need to talk about our children who died. My biggest fear is that people will forget my child. I really appreciate getting cards and/or phone calls near Arthur’s birth and death days.
I recommend belonging to a support group as the bereaved parents become your extended family. You make a lot of friendships there with people who are sensitive to your feelings. You learn that crying is OK.
I also recommend that newly bereaved parents try to do a project in the name of your child. I bought a bookcase for the library of the middle school where Arthur would have attended and had his name put on it. Each year at Christmas or on his death anniversary I ask relatives and friends to purchase books and make donations to his library.
You may want to plant a garden in memory of your child. Do something positive in memory of your child.
ALIVE ALONE AUGUST, 1997
ALIVE ALONE AUGUST, 1997
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Losing an Only Child
Alive Alone is an organization for the education and charitable purposes to benefit bereaved parents, whose only child or all children are deceased, by providing a self-help network and publications to promote communication and healing, to assist in resolving their grief, and a means to reinvest their lives for a positive future.You can read the history and story behind how this organization started. They also have a newsletter that they publish bimonthly for $20 or there are a few newsletter excerpts from the newsletter on their website as well.
Alive Alone is holding a workshop for all parents that have lost their only child during the National Compassionate Friends Conference in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota July 15-17, 2011. For more information about Alive Alone visit their website.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Laken's Bears
Melissa
I have been married to my best friend for soon to be 11 years August 20th. He is my security blanket in every way possible. Together we have some beautiful brown eyed babies. Paige is 12 years old, Chase 7 years old and our baby Laken who is our 10 month old angel born April 8, 2010. She came into the world too early and left us too soon. She will forever be a part of our family and missed very much.
Laken's Bears were inspired by the loss of our daughter Laken Taylor Johnson who was born extremely premature at 22 weeks and 4 days on April 8, 2010. After months of grieving and looking for support and resources on our own, we found that giving back helped heal our hearts the most. It was then that Laken's Bears were created.
Laken's Bears is a non-profit organization working with others to help get teddy bears into the arms and memory boxes of other grieving families.We hope to reach out and work with hospitals, funeral homes, and team up with other BLM (baby loss mama's) around the world that are trying to make a difference. The idea is to have people sponsor a Laken's Bear for $2 each in a loved ones name to be given to a grieving family. You can sponsor as many Laken's Bears as you would like in as many names as you would like. Although a teddy bear may seem simple, it's healing powers are amazing!
Laken's Bears is a non-profit organization working with others to help get teddy bears into the arms and memory boxes of other grieving families.We hope to reach out and work with hospitals, funeral homes, and team up with other BLM (baby loss mama's) around the world that are trying to make a difference. The idea is to have people sponsor a Laken's Bear for $2 each in a loved ones name to be given to a grieving family. You can sponsor as many Laken's Bears as you would like in as many names as you would like. Although a teddy bear may seem simple, it's healing powers are amazing!
Example of the tag that is attached to each Laken's Bear
Each tag will read, "This Laken's Bear is sponsored by the family of _________ born __________. May this teddy bear bring you peace and comfort."
Each sponsor will also receive an 5x7 certificate of generosity because without you, none of this would be possible!
Example:
Each sponsor will also receive an 5x7 certificate of generosity because without you, none of this would be possible!
Example:
I just love this idea and think that so many hearts will be touched by these sweet bears. Melissa just sent out her first shipment of bears to a hospital in Florida. Way to go Melissa!
If you'd like to sponsor a bear in honor of your sweet angel just visit Sponsor a Laken's Bear. I love hearing all these wonderful projects that so many great women are doing to honor and remember their children! Thank you Melissa for doing so much good for others and sharing your sweet Laken with us!
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Ten Worst Things to Say to a Grieving Person
I saw this great article on In His Name, and thought I would share it all with you.
The Ten Worst Things to Say to a Grieving Person
The Ten Worst Things to Say to a Grieving Person
Debra J. HicksHere's why some of the things people said after the loss of my son, Joshua, provided little comfort.
1. I know how you feel.
Even if your child died, you can't know how I feel, because every person and situation is unique. If you want to share how you felt when you experienced a loss, that's fine. But bite your tongue if you're ever tempted to compare two people's grief.
2. How are you doing?
Many people use this greeting out of habit and aren't prepared for an honest reply. A much better greeting is simply It's good to see you. If you truly are prepared to find out how a grieving person is feeling, try to use specific questions such as: What was the hardest thing you've had to face this week or Have you been able to have a good cry lately?
3. Look on the bright side. It could have been much worse.
Yes, it's true that others have had to face worse. And even though a bereaved person could probably find a dozen reasons to be thankful if hard-pressed, you needn't try to force them to be cheerful. Sadness is the normal, healthy response to the death of a loved one.
4. Call me if there's anything I can do to help.
Few grieving people will ask for help because they are usually too overwhelmed to assess and prioritize their needs. Friends should offer to do something specific and remember to get permission before taking action.
5. At least we know it was God's will.
While it's true that God allows bad things, this statement is insidious because it implies that He intentionally plans them in order to punish or teach us. It's not God but the enemy who deserves credit for evil and its completely irrational results.
6. Don't worry; you're young. You'll get on with your life.
A loved one who dies is not replaceable. Having another child can ease the pain of a secondary loss (such as the loss of an occupation, in my case, since I was a stay-at-home mom when my only child died). But parents will mourn the primary loss?a relationship with that child?for as long as they live.
7. Aren't you happy your child doesn't have to live in this sinful world anymore?
Although we have a blessed hope that the separation of death is only temporary, happiness won't be realized until the great reunion. If parents were meant to care only for heaven and nothing for this life, then the happiest parents would be those whose babies are stillborn, right?
8. Don't talk that way. You know better than that.
The ability to safely express doubts, questions, and anger is crucial in the healing process. It's perfectly natural for grieving persons to wonder why God didn't step in and overrule in their particular situation. Allow them to wrestle through this difficult issue and question the One who says in Isaiah 1:18, Come now, let us reason together. He can sooner help a person who expresses these feelings than one who buries them beneath a guise of unquestioning acceptance.
9. You must be really strong. I'd die if that happened to me.
What you perceive as calm strength is more likely the numbness of shock. You may be surprised how many grief-stricken people pray for God to let them die, too. Death would be a welcome relief, and many have briefly considered suicide. The last thing they need is for someone to imply that they are disloyal for trying to make the best of the life they have.
10. You should be over this by now.
Grieving for a child is a lifelong process, not a weeklong event. The only way to get over it would be to forget that child an unhealthy alternative to grief known as denial. Life will eventually seem worth living again, but it will never be as it once was. Too much has changed.
Debra J. Hicks
Here's why some of the things people said after the loss of my son, Joshua, provided little comfort.
1. I know how you feel.
Even if your child died, you can't know how I feel, because every person and situation is unique. If you want to share how you felt when you experienced a loss, that's fine. But bite your tongue if you're ever tempted to compare two people's grief.
Even if your child died, you can't know how I feel, because every person and situation is unique. If you want to share how you felt when you experienced a loss, that's fine. But bite your tongue if you're ever tempted to compare two people's grief.
2. How are you doing?
Many people use this greeting out of habit and aren't prepared for an honest reply. A much better greeting is simply It's good to see you. If you truly are prepared to find out how a grieving person is feeling, try to use specific questions such as: What was the hardest thing you've had to face this week or Have you been able to have a good cry lately?
Many people use this greeting out of habit and aren't prepared for an honest reply. A much better greeting is simply It's good to see you. If you truly are prepared to find out how a grieving person is feeling, try to use specific questions such as: What was the hardest thing you've had to face this week or Have you been able to have a good cry lately?
3. Look on the bright side. It could have been much worse.
Yes, it's true that others have had to face worse. And even though a bereaved person could probably find a dozen reasons to be thankful if hard-pressed, you needn't try to force them to be cheerful. Sadness is the normal, healthy response to the death of a loved one.
Yes, it's true that others have had to face worse. And even though a bereaved person could probably find a dozen reasons to be thankful if hard-pressed, you needn't try to force them to be cheerful. Sadness is the normal, healthy response to the death of a loved one.
4. Call me if there's anything I can do to help.
Few grieving people will ask for help because they are usually too overwhelmed to assess and prioritize their needs. Friends should offer to do something specific and remember to get permission before taking action.
Few grieving people will ask for help because they are usually too overwhelmed to assess and prioritize their needs. Friends should offer to do something specific and remember to get permission before taking action.
5. At least we know it was God's will.
While it's true that God allows bad things, this statement is insidious because it implies that He intentionally plans them in order to punish or teach us. It's not God but the enemy who deserves credit for evil and its completely irrational results.
While it's true that God allows bad things, this statement is insidious because it implies that He intentionally plans them in order to punish or teach us. It's not God but the enemy who deserves credit for evil and its completely irrational results.
6. Don't worry; you're young. You'll get on with your life.
A loved one who dies is not replaceable. Having another child can ease the pain of a secondary loss (such as the loss of an occupation, in my case, since I was a stay-at-home mom when my only child died). But parents will mourn the primary loss?a relationship with that child?for as long as they live.
A loved one who dies is not replaceable. Having another child can ease the pain of a secondary loss (such as the loss of an occupation, in my case, since I was a stay-at-home mom when my only child died). But parents will mourn the primary loss?a relationship with that child?for as long as they live.
7. Aren't you happy your child doesn't have to live in this sinful world anymore?
Although we have a blessed hope that the separation of death is only temporary, happiness won't be realized until the great reunion. If parents were meant to care only for heaven and nothing for this life, then the happiest parents would be those whose babies are stillborn, right?
Although we have a blessed hope that the separation of death is only temporary, happiness won't be realized until the great reunion. If parents were meant to care only for heaven and nothing for this life, then the happiest parents would be those whose babies are stillborn, right?
8. Don't talk that way. You know better than that.
The ability to safely express doubts, questions, and anger is crucial in the healing process. It's perfectly natural for grieving persons to wonder why God didn't step in and overrule in their particular situation. Allow them to wrestle through this difficult issue and question the One who says in Isaiah 1:18, Come now, let us reason together. He can sooner help a person who expresses these feelings than one who buries them beneath a guise of unquestioning acceptance.
The ability to safely express doubts, questions, and anger is crucial in the healing process. It's perfectly natural for grieving persons to wonder why God didn't step in and overrule in their particular situation. Allow them to wrestle through this difficult issue and question the One who says in Isaiah 1:18, Come now, let us reason together. He can sooner help a person who expresses these feelings than one who buries them beneath a guise of unquestioning acceptance.
9. You must be really strong. I'd die if that happened to me.
What you perceive as calm strength is more likely the numbness of shock. You may be surprised how many grief-stricken people pray for God to let them die, too. Death would be a welcome relief, and many have briefly considered suicide. The last thing they need is for someone to imply that they are disloyal for trying to make the best of the life they have.
What you perceive as calm strength is more likely the numbness of shock. You may be surprised how many grief-stricken people pray for God to let them die, too. Death would be a welcome relief, and many have briefly considered suicide. The last thing they need is for someone to imply that they are disloyal for trying to make the best of the life they have.
10. You should be over this by now.
Grieving for a child is a lifelong process, not a weeklong event. The only way to get over it would be to forget that child an unhealthy alternative to grief known as denial. Life will eventually seem worth living again, but it will never be as it once was. Too much has changed.
Grieving for a child is a lifelong process, not a weeklong event. The only way to get over it would be to forget that child an unhealthy alternative to grief known as denial. Life will eventually seem worth living again, but it will never be as it once was. Too much has changed.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Written in the Stars
Written in the Stars in something I started after losing my daughter at almost 15 weeks pregnant. I have nothing from her, no photos, no prints, nothing. I came across the site To Write Their Name In The Sand where they will make you an imagine with your childs name written in the sand on a beautiful beach on sunset. It made me wonder if there was something I could do and one summer nite I took a picture of the sky that I really like. Looking at the stars always makes me think of Ireland so 'writing' her name in the stars seemed like a fun thing to try. I loved it, and it was one more thing I could have to remind me of Ireland and I wanted to offer this to other greiving parents.
If you would like your child's name written in the stars I would be happy to make one for you. Email me at mandimchady @ hotmail.com
Look at the beautiful work she does. I just love this idea! Amanda is a photographer and uses her skills to serve others. She started Ireland's Angels.
Ireland's Angels is part of my photography business dedicated to offering complimentary photography session for those affected by infant loss or terminal illness in the family. Please contanct me for more information. This is the heart of my photography. mandimchady@hotmail.com
Thanks Amanda for sharing your talent with all of us and your sweet Ireland!
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