tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59746568777286806852024-03-16T12:52:44.061-06:00Honoring Our AngelsMonicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.comBlogger158125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-8720622453562414122014-05-20T19:31:00.002-06:002015-10-21T21:46:13.157-06:00Memorial Day Traditions<div style="text-align: center;">
I love Memorial Day weekend, and the opportunity we have to honor our veterans. We have a family tradition on Memorial day to visit all of the graves of our family members that have passed away, and talk about their lives and the impact they have had on each one of us. Some of them lived many years, others, only moments, however, each person has had an influence and has blessed our lives. May this Memorial Day weekend, be one of <i>healing</i>, of <i>peace</i> and <i>gratitude</i> for the <i>opportunity to love</i> those that are gone. <img src="http://s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/QjZvYYRYSP6OrV8n-cd5Vg/l.jpg" height="400" id="irc_mi" style="margin-top: 64px;" width="581" /></div>
Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-44090318291240869422013-10-11T12:03:00.000-06:002013-10-11T12:03:15.828-06:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">October 15th</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ9A4-sdEFDp5G7g3O-Tkve-fod_L8o7Znm3eqf2inpYSvUzxOEIm5Z2syO_Z-or4RCq8ZbbCRorHaciw4srCKEEuwAV2uU60ANaE8_lWDaBOZtqIOFd-jHiB9wxJlV17hGGh1e2IjcZI/s1600/DownloadedFile.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ9A4-sdEFDp5G7g3O-Tkve-fod_L8o7Znm3eqf2inpYSvUzxOEIm5Z2syO_Z-or4RCq8ZbbCRorHaciw4srCKEEuwAV2uU60ANaE8_lWDaBOZtqIOFd-jHiB9wxJlV17hGGh1e2IjcZI/s1600/DownloadedFile.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Around the world at 7pm in all time zones, we will be lighting candles for those the precious babies that have been lost in pregnancy or in infancy. Join us in honoring their memory by creating a "wave of light" this Tuesday!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Learn more about <a href="http://www.october15th.com/">October 15th.com</a> </span></div>
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Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-47686505132820454632012-11-05T08:54:00.003-07:002012-11-05T08:54:43.423-07:0024 Hour Grief Counseling<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1oN_D0mn5xBQEMp2BSVCraz29zAO9nX5-kFtUw0AELtQ81Z8Hmo4x7WTU1EBya4ODiQRE9CK8TGopd1ewmZDlIyFUnEOhuy8NEAF6fmcpSt4fb_EtyTBoC6rtoW_jZTvkDgg69V8m3tw/s1600/h1-img.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1oN_D0mn5xBQEMp2BSVCraz29zAO9nX5-kFtUw0AELtQ81Z8Hmo4x7WTU1EBya4ODiQRE9CK8TGopd1ewmZDlIyFUnEOhuy8NEAF6fmcpSt4fb_EtyTBoC6rtoW_jZTvkDgg69V8m3tw/s320/h1-img.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I discovered that <a href="http://www.firstcandle.org/contact-first-candle/">First Candle</a> offers 24/7 grief counseling for anyone struggling with the loss of a baby! I've listed their contact information below. </div>
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CALL US TOLL-FREE AT</h4>
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #2f79b4; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 26px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 15px; text-transform: uppercase;">1-800-221-7437</span></div>
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GRIEF COUNSELORS AVAILABLE 24/7</h4>
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Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-84232358492565808542012-06-03T16:50:00.003-06:002012-06-03T16:50:39.478-06:00The Lord is my light<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was recently asked how I have been able to handle the loss of our daughter. My answer is simple......</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>my faith</i></span>.</div>
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I believe that families are eternal and I will one day hold my daughter in my arms again.</div>
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I recently took this picture in Oregon and to me it embodies faith. </div>
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What has carried you?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3X7cq6Zx1PIDSR4tUDIBRmvsn6mhchZDrKaoRrNVSaZSx8tWMmD6jfdRaK0M8OhrYijXFOyzRBVc70uV431Ih0OwZtGkIDihaiUrRwSMQbIxkDiFvhudAAxg5ibAXyAFaHb3TsBO-jpM/s1600/The+Lord+is+my+light.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3X7cq6Zx1PIDSR4tUDIBRmvsn6mhchZDrKaoRrNVSaZSx8tWMmD6jfdRaK0M8OhrYijXFOyzRBVc70uV431Ih0OwZtGkIDihaiUrRwSMQbIxkDiFvhudAAxg5ibAXyAFaHb3TsBO-jpM/s640/The+Lord+is+my+light.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>If you would like a copy of the picture with your angel's name where my copyright symbol is located please email me by 6/17/12. I will personalize a copy for you and place your angel's name on the print for free. I will only be able to take requests until the listed date and you must have it personalized. Print sizes may vary. I've successfully printed a 5x7 but it may differ based on your printing lab. Realize that coloring may vary based on your monitor or your printing lab. Be aware, the file is large.</i></div>
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Much Love,</div>
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Monica </div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-34345442683671092602012-03-16T09:55:00.001-06:002012-03-16T09:55:00.711-06:00Advice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Omg_K5ZIXLh8N89P1tw3uJOGbYjgyyNhBqn9QGQVipGwcFNcxlhY96EOpwQbC8mwzP_aR4yqiOIltHi_sRupto_QPOelilKEwjko1t73tvH6y1lHK2sk-FhiMOGE42SCEGxBdkD3hHA/s1600/gdm_logol.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="56" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Omg_K5ZIXLh8N89P1tw3uJOGbYjgyyNhBqn9QGQVipGwcFNcxlhY96EOpwQbC8mwzP_aR4yqiOIltHi_sRupto_QPOelilKEwjko1t73tvH6y1lHK2sk-FhiMOGE42SCEGxBdkD3hHA/s400/gdm_logol.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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I saw this article on <a href="http://griefdigestmagazine.com/">Grief Digest Magazine (online)</a> and wanted to share it. It's a great resource for articles and information from the bereavement community. You can click on the link to take you directly to the <a href="http://griefdigestmagazine.com/2012/02/advice/">article</a> or read it below. <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">ADVICE</span><br />
February 23, 2012<br />
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<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">By Andrea Gambill</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Advice is like breath; everyone has some, but sometimes it isn’t pleasant!</strong></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">…and, it’s pretty much worth what you pay for it—most of the time.</strong></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Probably nobody gets as much unsolicited advice as the bereaved. It comes in like an avalanche—especially in the early days of grief. What always amazes me is how firm-with-confidence it is when it comes from those who have never had a similar experience. It is almost always liberally spiced with “you should…,” or “you shouldn’t…”; “you need to…,” or “you must never….” Or even, “I bet you wish…” Then there’s the ubiquitous, “If I were you…” And the virtually unforgivable, “Why didn’t you…?” Unwelcome advice is like sandpaper on the soul. It hurts, and it does no good at all.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">It’s almost always well intended, but it’s usually born out of frustration on the part of the donor. Our wannabe-comforters are completely baffled by us, and they are overwhelmed by our pain. If that sounds a bit too “forgiving,” try to remember back to before you were bereaved and how you felt when you encountered someone who had just experienced a devastating loss. I know I’d love to get back some of the words that spilled out of my never-to-be-silent mouth!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I know a lady who never has a clue. If I say I have a headache, she will say, “Why don’t you take an aspirin?” I want to reply (loudly), “Gee, I wish I’d thought of that!” People don’t mean to be stupid, but they are often flailing around in the deep end of the pool when they can’t swim. They need some education—given graciously and with patience—because, “a teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down…,” But “teaching” and exercising patience can be tall orders for the wounded who are already suffering a pain that is beyond describing!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">But, wait a minute! It’s not all bad news. Sometimes, there is great advice swirling around out there if we can just let our hearts be quiet for a minute and learn how to sift and sort. There are still souls who are tender-hearted , compassionate and wise beyond the obvious. Before we throw the baby out with the bath water, let’s do a little testing. Let’s consider who is giving the advice. Is it from someone we have always considered wise and trustworthy? Is it someone we truly care about—perhaps even admire? Is the counsel coming from the heart or the head of this person? Does s/he really genuinely care, or is it just an attempt to impress you with their great wisdom? Is this someone who has your future and your soul at the top of their prayer list, or is it someone who wants to exert power and control (even if they don’t realize their own motive)?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">In other words, let’s take a deep breath and try to be discerning. After all, we can’t lose anything—except maybe something (or someone) we really didn’t need anyway. We may be bereaved and in deep pain, but we have not lost our own prerogative to choose our own paths and decisions carefully.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">“Caring is comforting, but advice may not be. If caring is coming from a deep and sincere place in the heart, it can’t fail. If it’s just an obligatory duty, or a quest for power and control, it can’t succeed.”</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">This is only one of the reasons support groups and grief literature (like <strong style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Grief Digest</strong>) can be so helpful. Since advice is an issue that bereaved people have all endured, many different responses to it have been learned and shared. Maybe each of us can edit some of those responses with small personal revisions that will help. You get the idea, “Two heads are better than one.”</div><div class="author" style="background-color: #e6e6e6; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 0.8em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: auto; overflow-y: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">By Andrea Gambill</strong> </div></div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-22515363242285644372012-03-13T12:49:00.001-06:002012-03-13T12:49:28.527-06:00New Links for Calvin's Cupcakes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2FfycC-KJLlWEF5ZscO6JDRmRjTp8VOgx6_kvuR3ZO3V7ImsOufj9gMu3h_GVILjuuszuNhyphenhyphenec3wanHhoiyBP9fNsTUBrvyWsgZEEFehu4tCSSN5taX-qsOP8qo5TV3S7_s2F8TeFpw/s1600/calvins-cupcakes-header.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2FfycC-KJLlWEF5ZscO6JDRmRjTp8VOgx6_kvuR3ZO3V7ImsOufj9gMu3h_GVILjuuszuNhyphenhyphenec3wanHhoiyBP9fNsTUBrvyWsgZEEFehu4tCSSN5taX-qsOP8qo5TV3S7_s2F8TeFpw/s640/calvins-cupcakes-header.gif" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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I love <a href="http://blessedtobebroken.com/calvinscupcakes/">Calvin's Cupcakes</a>! If you haven't visited Crystal lately you should. She recently sent me a few updated links to her websites and I wanted to pass them along to you. Stop by and say hi!<br />
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<ul style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><li style="margin-left: 15px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://louielovescrystal.com/calvinphoenix/kissesforcalvin" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Kisses for Calvin</a> – Calvin’s memorial site</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://fragments.louielovescrystal.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">These Fragments, I Love</a> – Crystal’s blog</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://calvinscanvas.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Calvin’s Canvas</a> – Louie’s website</span></li>
</ul>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-25114351449758191522012-02-10T12:58:00.000-07:002012-02-10T12:58:29.343-07:00When You Lose a Baby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6_WplKsTv029mwMOsJ8GduDOif5wsBGszKpUnRAh0wM2eV8Q1JHlHckEY2EXhwBVu_d_6TeMvpiu3gCNcx3IvVHR28pLqV125IeKIxu6JfYTMJxpKQ97-Tr3e2EBxXgM6JOi1YqT9S8s/s1600/716045_58656852.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6_WplKsTv029mwMOsJ8GduDOif5wsBGszKpUnRAh0wM2eV8Q1JHlHckEY2EXhwBVu_d_6TeMvpiu3gCNcx3IvVHR28pLqV125IeKIxu6JfYTMJxpKQ97-Tr3e2EBxXgM6JOi1YqT9S8s/s320/716045_58656852.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>I saw this <a href="http://smallbirdstudios.com/2012/02/05/when-you-lose-a-baby/">article</a>, <i><u>When you lose a baby</u></i>, written by Franchesca Cox at Small Bird Studios and just had to share. Most of it rings true for me and I'm sure it will for you too. It has been over 3 years since our daughter was born it's amazing how she is "overlooked" by so many. No one brings her name up anymore. Grief transforms over time.Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-74250958702590353492011-12-26T09:50:00.000-07:002011-12-26T09:50:03.936-07:00Calypso's Ocean<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eEVOKgWTD3M/Tvijrrj8HGI/AAAAAAAAAbI/Yy90IGAwXrQ/s1600/696167837.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eEVOKgWTD3M/Tvijrrj8HGI/AAAAAAAAAbI/Yy90IGAwXrQ/s1600/696167837.png" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Today I'm honored to spotlight another amazing angel and angel mom, Calypso and her mom Melissa. Melissa is the charity director of <a href="http://www.calypsosocean.com/">Calypso's Ocean</a>, a neonatal loss remembrance page and charitable donation organization. Melissa also blogs at <a href="http://scarsinmyyarn.blogspot.com/">Hiding Scars in My Yarn: Surviving and Crafting my Way Through Grief</a>. Melissa does so much to honor her precious Calypso through service to others I am honored to spotlight her here on Honoring Our Angels. Melissa has written a guest post sharing her story of Calypso and I am honored to post their story....</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8JJmT0aM4T0/Tvij9BDIYFI/AAAAAAAAAbU/Sk0pzL2LAAU/s1600/calypsobw.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8JJmT0aM4T0/Tvij9BDIYFI/AAAAAAAAAbU/Sk0pzL2LAAU/s320/calypsobw.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><b>My Heart is the Heart of the Ocean</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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</style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">At 9 weeks I started bleeding and they swore up and down I was losing the baby..... I didn't. We breezed through the next few weeks easily until 18 weeks. I had been spotting. Went in for an u/s. Calypso's amniotic fluid was at 1.5 (4.5 is critical) the u/s lady kept asking me if I had been leaking. I told her no, no I hadn't. They scheduled me for a recheck in 2 weeks saying she probably just needed to pee.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">At 20 weeks I saw them again. The u/s tech was very very quiet and told me that the baby still had no fluid and that my placenta looked 'funny' like it had 'pits' in it. She went to get my Dr. He came in looking teary eyed and told me I was at very very high risk for interuterine fetal demise and having a stillborn baby. They referred me to a high risk Dr. 50 minutes away in Indianapolis who I saw the following Monday.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I saw the High Risk Dr. at 21 weeks 2 days. He told me the baby looked ok and we were in a wait and see stage and I'd have every 2 week u/s. I never made it to my next appointment. On May 2nd at 23 weeks 5 days I woke up with blood soaking through my pants into my bed and freaked out. I called 911 and they took me away to our local hospital. They found Calypso's heartbeat and transferred me up to IU Hospital in Indianapolis via ambulance.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">There they diagnosed me as a placental abruption case. We had to sign papers telling them that if Calypso was born super early we wanted aggressive treatments to save her. I spent 6 weeks in the hospital bleeding off and on. When I hit 29 weeks I was so excited, if I had my baby she would live! I was so freaking happy. The nurses even let me put up a little sign on my door that said 29 weeks</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">On June 14th at 1:30 am I was 6 cm and they gave me an epidural. At 3 am I called my friend. At 3:15 I was feeling weird and the Dr's. came in to check me. I told her I'd call her back. Calypso was born 5 minutes later in one push. She came out sunny side up and had her eyes open (I wish so badly I had seen her eyes, I never got to see them) she even tried to cry and sounded like a baby lamb. I wish I'd had dh record her birth too. She was 3 lbs 1.9 oz and 13 inches long. They whisked her away to try and get her stable.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I got up about an hour later to go pee and started hemorrhaging. The Dr. started my iv with pitocin (I got 2 bags) and they put cyotec up my bum and he MANUALLY yanked clots out of my uterus while shoving on my stomach. Finally they got everything under control.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">At 5:30 am they had Calypso stable enough to transfer her to Riley and I got to meet her briefly before they whisked her away to Riley which was attached to IU through a tunnel that goes under the road.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Calypso was doing good, she had some small problems but was doing great. Her kidneys didn't function 100% but the doctors thought that might work itself out. So they monitored her intake and outtake. They weaned her off the the Oscillatory Ventilator and onto a regular vent. They started her on breast milk via a tube up her nose. One time we were in the NICU and the nurses asked if we wanted to watch them flip her over. OMG!! That is the creepiest thing EVER!! It took two nurses and they just flopped her over like a potato!! And she did not like that at all!! She cracked open an eye and GLOWERED at those ladies. She was all WTF you guys!! We couldn't go up to the NICU often. I had a 3 year old and a 17 month old at home and no babysitter so we went every other day after DH got off work, this is something that people have called me heartless and a bitch for since she died. I should have been there NO MATTER WHAT! What was I supposed to do? Leave my young children at home alone?!?! I was able to spend one night at the hospital with her and I loved it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">It shocks me sometimes at how much influence that tiny little princess had on my life. I would have sold my soul to Satan himself for her. I loved to touch her little feet and hands. She was amazing and she had so much dark black hair! They wouldn't let me hold her. I wish I had pushed for that and made them let me. They kept telling me 'when she's better'</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Then it happened, the unthinkable and most dreaded word that any preemie parent will ever hear NEC (Necrotizing Enterocolitis) it's a severe intestinal infection in preemies. It kills off the lining of the small intestines which causes it to become nothing but dead tissue. It causes all kinds of problems, including renal failure. I was still so freaking hopeful! Everyone kept promising me she'd come home. I admit the whole time she was there I kept thinking maybe maybe she'll get to come home with me but I wasn't 100% for sure and hoping on it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Here's 2 of my journal entries leading up to her death.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">WEDNESDAY, JULY 04, 2007 02:12 AM, CDT</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">A letter to God I wrote today</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Dear God,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I know everything you do is for a purpose. And I KNOW it in my head but I can't for the life of me understand in my heart WHY my baby girl has to go through this stuff. She's so small but has already had stuff done to her that most adults haven't had done to them.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I realize that I may not be able to see her grow to adult hood but I beg you with EVERYTHING in me to let her come home. Even if it's just for a while. I want her to come home and be with her sisters and with me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I want to hold her and rock her and actually be able to kiss her head. I want to sing to her and know she hears me. I want to see her eyes. I haven't even been able to do that. I want to be able to put her in clothes that WE bought her. And take her on a car ride and a walk through the park.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I want her to go to MOPS with me and the girls and smile at me. I want her to sleep in her own crib and use the diapers we have for her.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Please Lord I don't care if she's on oxygen or a vent or has been trached. I don't care if she's on a feeding tube or what. I just want her home. I want to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her. Please God you've done things so much more complicated then this surely it's not an unreasonable request?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">In Jesus Name</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Amen</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">and then on the day before she went to heaven I wrote this one</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">FRIDAY, JULY 06, 2007 06:11 PM, CDT</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Whoever says compassion and is dead and humanity is selfish needs to step back and re-evaluate their lives. The amount of support we've have for our baby girl is so staggering it brings tears to my eyes.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">The fact that these people online who've never met me or my daughter are supporting her and praying for her without ceasing. My family members and friends who've never met her. It makes my heart swell with gratitude and love to know so many people are so involved with my angels life story.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">We sat down and met with a team of Dr.'s today. They told us her kidneys still aren't working BUT that her NEC is almost GONE!!!! They injected die into her stomach and watched it move through her body!!! Now we are simply waiting to see if her Kidney's kick in. Dr Engles said that he's seen babies in Kidney Failure up to 4 weeks and then BOOM one day they start peeing and don't stop again. He also said the fact that she had a few days of pee and then nothing also could mean that they are Starting to function because sometimes they do that start and stop.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Baby girl is still in Critical Condition of course but there is hope. He said if she starts acting like things are getting to hard on her they can try a medicine or try dialysis. This could be risky since her stomach and intestines ARE still healing BUT if she starts going down hill we'll do anything possible to help her.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Right now they are monitoring her fluid, electrolytes, and all that stuff. As well as her blood pressure and blood gasses. All those at the moment are stable.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Over all we're playing the waiting game. Wait and see if she can do this or wait till God takes her home to be with him.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">So Kind of the same news we already had with the one exception about the NEC being gone.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I know the news will spread quickly and wanted to remind you all of this. Humanity and Compassion are NEVER NEVER gone. Sometimes there is just so much junk to wade through that the compassion and caring gets over looked. Please take a moment out of your day to smile at someone and give them a bit of hope in the world. And Thank you All for giving us and our earthly angel this hope that the world hasn't gone to hell in a hand basket.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">The morning of the 7th the Nicu called me at noon and told me she was hurting bad and fighting the vents and her bp and oxygen levels weren't doing well. and we needed to get up there asap. I started bawling. I knew what was happening. The day before we'd gone to see Calypso and then I'd had a doctors appointment and then Raeden did too and I was tired and DH went up to say Goodbye to Calypso and I didn't. On the way home I freaked out and told him if something happened I would hate myself for not telling her bye. Oh God I never told her bye and the next day she died.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">We were 10 minutes out of Indianapolis nearing Riley when the NICU doctor called again, you could tell from his voice things were bad. He said to get the whole family up there. My husband hadn't come up to the hospital with us. He had wanted to come later in the day. He kept telling me she'd be fine and they were over reacting. So I called him and told him to get up there NOW. I then called my mom and in hindsight I wish I hadn't invited so many people up there.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">At the hospital I practically ran to the NICU and there was THE sign, that horrible horrible sign 'The NICU is Temporarily Closed' For any NICU mom they KNEW what this meant. A baby was passing or had passed away. I knew it was my baby. My sweet little girl. I went in to see my princess as we waited for DH to get up there. I sang to her OUR lullaby. JUST ours Hine, E Hine.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Dh got there and we talked to the doctors. They told us her oxygen SATS had been below 60 for too long. There was too much fluid on her lungs and while they could TRY another procedure there was almost no chance of it working. So we made the decision and we took her off the vent. And I was a wreck. They didn't even ask me NOW if I wanted to hold her, I had to beg them first. They did let my girls into the NICU though so that was wonderful.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Here's my journal entry from that day</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">SATURDAY, JULY 07, 2007 06:18 PM, CDT</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Calypso Paikea Rhyder got her angel wings today 7/7/07.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">People say 777 is heaven's number and today I truly believe that.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">As we were on our way to the NICU this morning about 10 minutes outside of Indy the dr called and told us that her oxygen sats had been under 60 for 4 hours and we needed to hurry because we were loosing her.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">When we got there I called my parents and we went in to see her and talked to the doctors. I could tell just by looking at her it was obvious she was already almost gone. The doctors said they could try another procedure that had little chance of working or take her off the vent. We chose to let her go. The hardest thing we've ever done in our life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">But doing the right thing is not always easy. As I held my angel today they baptized her and my girls got to come in and to see her. And my mom and my mil held her. Then we went to the other room and they were taking her off the vent and were going to bring her to us.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Oh Lord she fought! Even without the ventilator in my arms I could hear her gurgling and trying to breathe and I wanted to DIE. I was killing my baby and letting her die. My angel went to heaven in a room surrounded by my family and dh's family. We don't have an exact time of death because she died in our arms.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">They dressed her in an outfit and wrapped her in a blanket and brought her back to us again to love on her. Before we left they gave us the clothes and the blanket she had been wearing as well as a lot of mementos. They did foot prints and hand prints and casts of her hands and feet which they will mail to us. We got a baptism certificate as well as a large teddy bear with a card that reads</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">'I know that this little teddy bear could never heal your broken heart or replace your child but, it will give you something to hold on to.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">These teddy bears were given in memory of children that were called back to Heaven far too soon.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">This teddy bear was given in memory of Scottie Michael Mullenix with love from his family'</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">And it has a picture of an angel on it. We also got every blanket and hat and anything that Calypso had used in the NICU.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">My soul is half missing and it will never be whole until the day I am reunited with my princess.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">After they took her off the vent they brought her to me to die. The room was so full of people and was a small room. I had no where to lay her down, no where to just snuggle her. I wish I'd kicked everyone out but I wasn't thinking. I held her for an hour or so and none of the nurses came to help me clean her up. No one came to bring her clothes. She was in a diaper and blanket and there was blood. Oh God I never realized how traumatic this experience was to me until two years after her death and finding out how well some people had it. I'd not pumped since 9 am and it was now 3:30 pm and as my daughter lay in my arms gasping for air I had a let down. Oh fucking hell, that was agony, it was embarrassing and it HURT.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">My mother in law went down to the gift shop and bought an outfit that was too big for my peanut. The hospital gave us a list of funeral homes to call and at that time the nurses go 'Oh we have clothes but this works' and they took her AWAY to clean her and bathe her! No one mentioned I could do it and dress her, no one offered. I didn't know I was allowed.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">They kept her away for 30 minutes. I got to spend another hour or so with her. All the family wanted to leave. I didn't drive and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't stay there and I had no where to lay her. The nurses kept popping in and I was so uncomfortable. We had to call the funeral home and arrange them to come pick up our baby. Ext so we gave her to the nurses who said they'd take photos for us and send them to us. Which they never did, no photos.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Her story is mostly over now. We had her cremated and had a memorial ceremony on July 13, 2007. The day to make her arrangements came and I had to go to the funeral home alone, so my mom came with me. The funeral home lady was amazing she told me how beautiful Calypso was and my mom kept asking if I was sure I wanted her cremated and at the time I was. The funeral home lady asked me if I wanted to come down and see Calypso in the morgue and my mom pressured me to say no. Only recently did I realize that at that point she would have had no swelling, I would have been able to see her features with no tubes and no swelling and I said no. I'm a fucking IDIOT and I hate myself for it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I regret not having a funeral funeral. On Calypso's 2nd birthday in 2009 we had her ashes interred in an urn vault and buried in the cement foundation of her new headstone.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">There are so many things I wish I'd done differently. There's so many things I wish I'd known and that I wish I'd been told and offered. We have no full body photos of Calypso in clothes, none of that.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I miss her. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Calypso's finale chapter happened on April 15, 2011 almost 4 years after my Ocean girl was born and died. The rest of her ashes were scattered into the sea off of Waiheke Island New Zealand. New Zealand where her middle name Paikea came from. Like the song I sang to her while she lived</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">'I can still hear your voice on the trade winds</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I can still taste your tears on the foam</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">But the lure of the tide that I'm feeling inside</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Will not rest till my heart finds its home'</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">And that is her story</div><!--EndFragment--></span></span></div><br />
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<div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">Thank You Melissa for sharing your sweet Calypso with us! </div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'bookman old style', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: medium;">Melissa Lane</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #888888; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #bf00bf; font-family: 'bookman old style', 'new york', times, serif;"><span style="color: black;">Charity Director of Calypso's Ocean</span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #888888; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #bf00bf; font-family: 'bookman old style', 'new york', times, serif;"><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://www.calypsosocean.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">http://www.calypsosocean.com</a></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #888888; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #bf00bf; font-family: 'bookman old style', 'new york', times, serif;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #888888; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #bf00bf; font-family: 'bookman old style', 'new york', times, serif;"><span style="color: black;">My blog</span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #888888; font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #bf00bf; font-family: 'bookman old style', 'new york', times, serif;"><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://scarsinmyyarn.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #0000cc;" target="_blank">http://scarsinmyyarn.blogspot.<wbr></wbr>com/</a></span></span></span></span>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-44823741992431656942011-12-15T19:31:00.001-07:002011-12-15T19:32:03.328-07:00In This Storm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Today I'm excited to spotlight another blog entitled, <a href="http://heathermohr.wordpress.com/">In This Storm</a>. Heather is the author of In This Storm and mother to Madelyn.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is Madelyn's Story....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO6DeDV_N9D6JzRXajx5emGya8S6t2wKVeC6TYYVXygXyPCKVW9VuNtDJqvw8n751a3Dyh8DqDLyxXCB7dOK2HqJx7ELKz67GbkPZuBObcgBlwvk1hU6bXycutmMhbzDE726FXxPvJAQI/s1600/dsc_3564-1114.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO6DeDV_N9D6JzRXajx5emGya8S6t2wKVeC6TYYVXygXyPCKVW9VuNtDJqvw8n751a3Dyh8DqDLyxXCB7dOK2HqJx7ELKz67GbkPZuBObcgBlwvk1hU6bXycutmMhbzDE726FXxPvJAQI/s1600/dsc_3564-1114.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"></span></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Our family’s story began on May 8, 2004, the day Nathan and I promised to love and cherish each other for the rest of our lives. As I made my vows to him, I hadn’t the faintest idea how our lives would change just over five years later through the birth of our daughter, Madelyn. In fact, neither of us envisioned ourselves as the “having babies” type. Our plan was to work hard, retire early, and enjoy the extra money we wouldn’t be spending on things like daycare, diapers, and college funds.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">A few years into our marriage, I began to reconsider my stance against having children. Some of our friends started having babies, and I wanted that sweetness in my own life. Nathan was still no where near ready to even consider the idea of children, but he did let me get a cat. I enjoyed the new, furry member of our family, but she did little to squelch the desire that had sprouted in my heart for a child.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">In late August 2008, I thought for a few brief days my wish had come true in the form of a surprise. My usually very predictable menstrual cycle was late, so I decided to take a pregnancy test. To my surprise a second line, albeit faint, appeared. I went straight to Google to see what I could find on faint lines, and everything I read said a line was a line. I was scared to tell Nathan as I knew this wasn’t something we had planned, but I was beyond thrilled.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">That dream all too soon slipped from my fingers the next morning when the test was no longer positive. Several tests later, I came to terms with the fact that I wasn’t pregnant. I still don’t know if I ever was – I later discovered that the brand of tests I was using is notorious for making people think they are pregnant. I’ve even read stories of men getting positive tests with this brand!</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Regardless of what happened, I was crushed. Yet something positive was born of the experience: spending a day thinking we were going to be parents changed both of us. Nathan realized that he wanted to have a baby after all, and we decided we would start trying to do just that after I finished my Masters degree in December 2009.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">In January 2009, our plans were once again interrupted, as I discovered I was pregnant. While it was a surprise, we had been careless with prevention, so we weren’t nearly as shocked as we had been five months before. My previous experience made me cautious: I tested again every single day, multiple times a day, for over a week. Yet this time, it was different. Instead of disappearing, the second line got darker with each passing day. I went to the doctor for a blood test, and it showed that I was indeed pregnant with a due date of October 8, 2009.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">My first trimester was easy enough, although I was constantly worried about miscarriage, eating the right foods, and following the pregnancy manuals I had collected to give my baby the healthiest start I could. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks that showed everything was as it should be, but that the baby was measuring as due October 11 instead of October 8. Being an avid cycle charter, I knew this could not be correct. However, ultrasounds can be wrong by up to a week either direction, so no one was concerned except for me.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">I had another scan in my 13th week, when my OB was unable to find the heartbeat at my regular appointment. He said that it was still early, but authorized an ultrasound for my peace of mind. Thankfully, the ultrasound immediately showed our baby’s tiny heart beating as it should. Yet, once again, I noticed a few things seemed to be off. This ultrasound was giving us a due date of October 13, meaning our baby was measuring even more behind schedule. I also noticed the “black area” around the baby wasn’t as large as in other ultrasounds I had seen. I later learned this was amniotic fluid. Our baby also did not move even once during the ultrasound. However, none of these things were severe enough to cause anyone concern. I was again reminded that ultrasounds can be wrong by up to a week, and I was told that sometimes babies do sleep during the ultrasound exams. Nothing was said about the amniotic fluid – it must have not been low enough for the doctors to worry.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">My next ultrasound, the one that changed my life, was at 19 weeks 5 days, on May 19, 2009. I remember being very nervous the previous night. Even though I was small, I had not been feeling the baby move. We had heard the heartbeat several times via Doppler, so we at least knew she was alive. I was also concerned because at my OB appointment at 16 weeks, my doctor mentioned she was much lower than most babies were at that stage in pregnancy. He wasn’t concerned, but pointed it out simply because it took him much longer than usual to find her on the Doppler. However, Nathan reminded me that everything was probably fine. We had made it past the first trimester, and the chances of anything going wrong halfway through a pregnancy were slim.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">When we were called into the ultrasound room, all of my fears were diminished as soon as we saw our baby’s beating heart on the screen. But then the ultrasound technician stopped what she was doing to tell us she needed to go get a doctor. While hearing those words was a little unsettling, we just assumed she needed help with something.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">The ultrasound technician returned a few minutes later with a nurse practitioner who took a quick peek at the ultrasound screen, and then proceeded to tell us that our baby was measuring 3 weeks behind schedule and there was basically no amniotic fluid. They told us we were being sent to the Perinatal Center, which is where people go with high risk pregnancies. They couldn’t get us in for several hours, so we had to wait. At this point I was beyond scared and in tears. They escorted us out through a private entrance so we wouldn’t have to walk back through the waiting room in front of all the other happy pregnant women full of excitement: the type of woman I had been not even an hour earlier.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">After what felt like an eternity, it was finally time for our next appointment. It didn’t take long to confirm what we had already been told: our baby was too small and there wasn’t even enough amniotic fluid to measure. They also told us there was probably a heart condition, and I needed to go to a pediatric cardiologist once the baby was a little bigger to get more information about that. We were then whisked away to speak with a genetic counselor, who educated us on various fatal chromosomal disorders. The biggest cause of concern was the lack of amniotic fluid. In the womb, babies swallow amniotic fluid, and doing so helps their lungs develop. Without it, it was very likely our baby would need NICU care after birth, even if everything else turned out fine. We chose to focus on the small chance that she would be fine. We were told our baby could die at any time, we could carry her to term only to have her die afterwards, she could live, but with severe disabilities, or there was the small chance she could live and all would be fine. The chance that all could be fine was the only thing that kept us going through that day, and through the months ahead.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">I was sent home and ordered to go on bed rest and drink lots of water for two weeks, at which point they’d do another ultrasound to see if the amniotic fluid levels had increased. If so, it was likely that I was leaking fluid. If not, then we’d know the issue was probably with the baby and not with me.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">It was a long two weeks, but finally the time came for my next appointment. We were told things had not improved. They sent me back to work on modified bed rest, and made plans to see me bi-weekly until our baby reached one pound in weight, which is the smallest size at which they can save a baby outside the womb. At that point, we would have a few more options.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Over the next month we lived from appointment to appointment. We went to the pediatric cardiologist during this time and it was determined our baby had an AV canal defect, which is most frequently associated with Down’s syndrome, and not the fatal chromosomal defects. However, the small size and low fluid were not associated with Down’s, so neither us nor the doctors could make any sense of it.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">At 26 weeks, our baby finally reached the weight of one pound. We were given two choices at this point: we could continue with the bi-weekly appointments and me on modified bed rest, or I could be admitted to the hospital where the baby would be monitored constantly. We were told that with so little fluid around the baby, the chances of her going into distress were high. If I were home, we wouldn’t know it, and she would probably die. If I were in the hospital, they’d do an emergency c-section and try their best to save her. After much deliberation, we opted for hospitalization, hoping to give our baby every possible chance at life. On July 3, 2009, I was admitted. While our friends prepared for their Independence Day celebrations, I began what would become an eight-week stay in the hospital.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">While in the hospital, our baby surprised all of the doctors and nurses. She never showed any signs of distress, and she moved much more frequently than most babies without fluid. She also seemed to be growing: she never regained the three weeks she had lost, but she never fell further behind either. Living in the hospital wasn’t easy, but I was able to find some advantages. The thumping of her heart was my constant background music, and I was given a gift of time to focus on nothing but my pregnancy and my baby.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">In the eighth week of my hospital stay I was 34 weeks pregnant, and my weekly ultrasound revealed our baby had not grown much in the prior week. Since 34 weeks is typically the normal time to deliver babies in no fluid situations, they decided it was time to induce me. They gave me medications to soften my cervix on August 26, 2009, started me on Pitocin to induce contractions the next evening, and by the morning of August 28, 2009, I was in hard labor. I labored all day without making much progress. After begging and pleading for relief, they finally agreed to let me have my epidural, even though I was hardly dilated. My OB said that if I didn’t progress in a few more hours, he would come do a c-section.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Thankfully, the epidural relaxed me, and I finally started making progress. A few hours later, I was ready to start pushing, and at 10:22 p.m., Madelyn Rebecca was born. She was 15 inches long and weighed 3 pounds and 4 ounces.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">The room was eerily silent as they handed her to the NICU team in my room. All I could do was pray that my baby would live. After about ten minutes, one of the NICU doctors told us things weren’t going well, and if she didn’t improve soon they would let us have her to share her final moments. Things didn’t improve.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">It felt so surreal as they laid my baby girl in my arms for the first time. Her eyes briefly fluttered open to look at me, and then she closed them again, never to re-open. I couldn’t believe that at any moment, she would breathe her last breath. Nathan and I held her, cried, and then allowed the rest of our family to have that same opportunity. Several hours later the nurse took her so we could get some sleep, and they brought her body back to us the next morning so we could say good-bye one final time before I was discharged from the hospital.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Leaving without my baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">The next week was spent making funeral arrangements. Instead of shopping for the stroller and baby bed we would have needed had she lived, we went shopping for a casket and headstone for her grave – something no parents should ever have to do for their child.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">The night Madelyn was born, we signed papers authorizing the hospital to do testing on our daughter in an attempt to determine what went wrong. Initial test results showed that her chromosomes were perfect, which surprised all the doctors. Then, several weeks later, the hospital called with our autopsy results. It revealed several problems not seen on the ultrasound, and we were once again sent to a genetic counselor.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Based on the new information revealed through testing, our genetic counselor gave us a few possibilities, one of which was a recessive gene disorder called Smith-Lemli-Opitz Syndrome (“SLOS”). In order for this to have been the problem, Nathan and I would both need to be carriers. If only one of us was a carrier, it would not affect our children. We both tested positive, and we had our answer.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">It was nice to have an answer, but it wasn’t the answer we wanted. When two people carry the gene that causes SLOS, there is a 25% chance in every pregnancy that both affected genes will be transferred to the baby, resulting in the child being affected with this disease. It isn’t always fatal, but it does always come with challenges, often both mental and physical. This greatly complicated our decision about future children.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">We took several months to decide what we should do next, and then we learned about something called embryo donation. When people go through the process of in-vitro fertilization, they will often find themselves with more embryos than they need. These people are then faced with the decision of what to do with the remaining embryos. One option is to donate them to other families who are either unable to have children on their own or, as in our case, have genetic reasons for not doing so. I did a lot of research on the subject, and we decided this was the path we wanted to take for our next child.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">In February 2010, I began calling fertility clinics, as I knew embryo donation programs often had long waiting lists. I was fortunate to find a clinic with no waiting list and very high success rates. In April 2010 I began my frozen embryo transfer cycle, and before the month was over I found out I was pregnant again, due in early January 2011. Several ultrasounds later revealed I was carrying a healthy baby boy.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">We know our journey is far from finished. Every single day I find myself torn between love for both of my babies and the pain that still grips my heart at losing my first. Yet even when my pain is at its worst, I am grateful for the time I had with Madelyn. If given the choice, I would always choose this path, because she was in it, even if only briefly.</div></div><div style="font-family: verdana, tahoma, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Thank you Heather for sharing your precious Madelyn with us all!</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.6em; margin-bottom: 0.7em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-49115727629726209692011-11-28T12:15:00.000-07:002011-11-28T12:15:58.271-07:00Long NovemberIt has been too long since I've posted on here and life has become crazy around my house. Too long to get into, but it's been a bitter/sweet month. We celebrated our Devon's 3rd birthday this month! Can it really be 3 years already? It was hard. That really sums it up. I had such great intentions on creating a new service card for her birthday month, but life has really gotten in the way of great intentions. I'm going to try and do better about posting regularly, at least that is my intention. :)<br />
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Love,<br />
MonicaMonicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-91619721634607465902011-10-14T09:45:00.000-06:002011-10-14T09:45:15.772-06:00October: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPSsefwskI0mGXTwopO5BkNXxKBgVrjG-yIjZe3FFr6y5gSUQu2BXpmjYJ__OVRxBCNOkiHFtDftzbWMAE1DxZ8X-ROfMF-MtdkbfUE_rMqGQtyDl8bPOJVYeDpKx_8Vggup7_NdWGmh4/s1600/whitecandles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPSsefwskI0mGXTwopO5BkNXxKBgVrjG-yIjZe3FFr6y5gSUQu2BXpmjYJ__OVRxBCNOkiHFtDftzbWMAE1DxZ8X-ROfMF-MtdkbfUE_rMqGQtyDl8bPOJVYeDpKx_8Vggup7_NdWGmh4/s1600/whitecandles.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">October is officially the month to raise awareness for pregnancy and infant loss. </div><br />
<blockquote>In 1988 October was declared Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in the United States with a Presidential Proclamation from Ronald Reagan (<a href="http://www.stillbirthalliance.org/modules.php?name=Content&pa=showpage&pid=3&link_id=67#History%20of%20Awareness%20Month%20in%20the%20United%20States"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">see below for a short history of the month</span></a>). This month is dedicated throughout the world to raising awareness of infant and pregnancy loss and to honouring and remembering babies and infants who died due to miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, SIDS and all infant deaths. {<a href="http://www.stillbirthalliance.org/modules.php?name=Content&pa=showpage&pid=3&link_id=67">from Stillbirth Alliance</a>}</blockquote><div style="text-align: left;">You can read more about how this month was dedicated for Infant and Pregnancy Loss <a href="http://www.stillbirthalliance.org/modules.php?name=Content&pa=showpage&pid=3&link_id=67">here</a>. Tomorrow is October 15th and there are many candle light vigils, walks and other events to honor our precious babies. There will be a worldwide candle lighting event on Saturday October 15th...</div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>We invite you all to join us in seeking worldwide recognition for the Month of October as <em>Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month</em> and October 15th as <em>Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day</em> which is intended to promote the Wave of Light Celebration</strong></div><strong><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><strong> (7-8 pm in every time zone, light a candle to honor all babies who have died.)</strong></span></div></strong></span><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Below are a few links to other events you might be interested in......</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.babyloss-awareness.org/events.htm">Infant Loss Awareness Events in the UK</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.sandssa.org/html/latest_news.html">Stillbirth and Neonatal Support Through SANDS (Australia)</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.october15th.com/activities_walks.htm">October Activities and Walks (US)</a></div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-2955900418595020882011-10-08T10:27:00.016-06:002011-10-08T10:27:00.114-06:00WINNER!<div style="text-align: left;">I'm excited to announce we have a winner for the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Dust-Deanna-Lynn-Roy/dp/0984187928">Baby Dust </a>by Deanna Roy. It is....</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><b>Cynthia S!</b></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">Congrats! I'm sure you will enjoy the book. Baby Dust is based on the real stories of women that have survived losing a baby. I know that after I lost my daughter, I poured myself into books from others that had similar experiences. I felt comfort in their expression of pain. I think it's important to know that you are not the only one hurting this badly, and that your not crazy for feeling the way you do. That is what I liked about Baby Dust, is it depicts the myriad of emotional responses and connection that we find in one another.</div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-36856549423899060242011-10-04T11:54:00.001-06:002011-10-11T17:02:32.829-06:00Pregnancy Loss Info and Giveaway!<div style="text-align: center;">*****GIVEAWAY IS CLOSED******</div>Today I am excited to bring you a guest post by Deanna from <a href="http://pregnancyloss.info/">Pregnancy Loss Info </a>and author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0984187928/theromancereview">Baby Dust</a>! Deanna is a mother to 3 angels: 20 weeks, 4 weeks and 10 weeks and the founder of Facts about Miscarriage. Deanna has done such beautiful things for others, and her website and book offer comfort and information to those grieving their own losses. Be sure to check out Deanna's <a href="http://pregnancyloss.info/">website</a> and her new book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0984187928/theromancereview">Baby Dust</a>. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Also, for one lucky Honoring Our Angels reader I am going to be giving away a signed copy of Baby Dust! </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">All you have to do is leave a comment on this post with an email address and you are entered to win. You have until Saturday </span></span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">October 8th,</span></span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">9am MST to enter the giveaway. The winner will be chosen at random using random.org <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>GOOD LUCK!</b></span></span></span></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0984187928/theromancereview"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwvSlu5QDQUsb_6vQyNpiW8xTpMxLlq9BvM554rhdxue9OlH5kB7OAMPsYBzL7fRK7Jk3oNA9Bh2rhuJ4300YoNN1yb5Ve_mrS6CByKNLbndspLf9Yj8Yjkyi_GF34zKsFO4SEOQBuX6w/s320/41BG%252BFkby4L._SS500_.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
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Take it away Deanna......<br />
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<blockquote style="text-align: left;">This post is about how to handle unsupportive family after a loss, which has a brief mini-scene from the novel showing how a character handles her niece deciding to name her new baby the same as her aunt's miscarried one because, "She didn't really get to use the name."</blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Dealing with Family after a Loss</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">After a miscarriage or stillbirth, most of us want more than anything for our babies to be recognized and mourned as a little person. But it doesn’t always happen that way. Sometimes you hear things like this:</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div style="text-align: left;">“You just need to move on.”</div><div style="text-align: left;">“Get pregnant again, and you’ll feel fine.”</div><div style="text-align: left;">“It’s not like it was a real baby.”</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Sometimes these words come from family. You can’t avoid them forever, so what do you do?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Pick Your Posse<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">First, figure out who IS a help. The aunt who lets you know she lost a baby long ago. The father-in-law who keeps hugging you, possibly to comfort himself as much as you.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">At family gatherings, stick with the good guys. When you are pressured to go to a baby shower or play pass-the-newborn at holidays, volunteer in the kitchen and enlist the aid of a posse member. They will act as your shield from those who thoughtlessly judge you for not participating.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Whenever possible, limit contact with the evil ones. You know who they are. The ones who ask you why are you still moping three months later, or worse—did you figure out why God punished you? Plan ahead to have an exit strategy if you get cornered.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You Don’t Have to Let It Go<o:p></o:p></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Baby Dust</i>, Stella’s niece announces at her shower that her baby will be called Angelica, the very name Stella gave her first baby, who was miscarried. When Stella gets upset, she is accused of overreacting. Her niece says, “It’s not like you really got to use it.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Stella, though, doesn’t stand for it for one minute, telling the women, “None of you ever treated my babies like they were real or that I might consider myself a mother.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Most of the time, we suck up our upset and don’t react. But often, people really don’t know what an impact their words have. There is no reason to just take it. You can calmly respond and let them know the words hurt. If they react badly again, that is a reflection of the person THEY are, not on you or the way you are handling your grief.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Stella’s niece eventually comes around, visiting Stella at work to let her know she isn’t going to name the baby Angelica after all. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">“What made you change your mind?” Stella asked.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">“How upset you were.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">“Well, yes, I took it pretty hard. You have a new name?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She shook her head, “Mama says it will just come to me, when I see her.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Not all of us will see a turnaround in our family, who may have very set ideas about how to handle grief or what causes a baby to die. But certainly, if we don’t help them see how their words wound us, they will never get that chance to change.</div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-1495498887445833952011-09-20T09:35:00.001-06:002011-09-20T09:36:10.955-06:00More Remembrance Jewelry<div style="text-align: center;">I saw these adorable pieces of jewelry at <a href="http://www.myforeverchild.com/">My Forever Child</a> and wanted to share it with you. I love keepsakes because they can be so meaningful. It's a way to carry your child with you always. Enjoy!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwcm9texZGO5ei0W1BtUvl95nm7O_3cuiAwS6Twc7oM42vXZFHBGZVZJ7LpKBPzFnoRmAbxI6YZykNXutLqlkLd4vl-EQUmuCZ7hUWfZM7IY2_5mW3bBjpq_fL7CBuE3MAPLmxvLYG0dk/s1600/thumb.asp.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwcm9texZGO5ei0W1BtUvl95nm7O_3cuiAwS6Twc7oM42vXZFHBGZVZJ7LpKBPzFnoRmAbxI6YZykNXutLqlkLd4vl-EQUmuCZ7hUWfZM7IY2_5mW3bBjpq_fL7CBuE3MAPLmxvLYG0dk/s1600/thumb.asp.jpeg" /></a></div><div>Signature Precious Images</div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9oQ7dRsnL0Ray3Cq_gJKcty1QRl9qSmVhBONiPwMZqKPS-ZN11i3HLokXUVUHEpoZAmZsY-PnljRmZqUMUMdIE46Wr2SpQOJhnUhSf5XT0F_yEVvo8kfmH7SPNlg_-Eo7re0AhFVhjoA/s1600/thumb-1.asp.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9oQ7dRsnL0Ray3Cq_gJKcty1QRl9qSmVhBONiPwMZqKPS-ZN11i3HLokXUVUHEpoZAmZsY-PnljRmZqUMUMdIE46Wr2SpQOJhnUhSf5XT0F_yEVvo8kfmH7SPNlg_-Eo7re0AhFVhjoA/s1600/thumb-1.asp.jpeg" /></a></div><div>Signature Custom Images</div><div>(Have your child's hand or footprint engraved)</div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV53GhSPc46zbnz1PwusD1ok0mids99gho6cHeSztSN5l-EABVGrcRDft2h3sIg72TYQ1PkW0ga_5_uT9sl7nb4DB3ZngU8su3Aqf0J71dI2UZJzv1kZW3K6zmiUJUiQPI0JrnIPLQecA/s1600/thumb-2.asp.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV53GhSPc46zbnz1PwusD1ok0mids99gho6cHeSztSN5l-EABVGrcRDft2h3sIg72TYQ1PkW0ga_5_uT9sl7nb4DB3ZngU8su3Aqf0J71dI2UZJzv1kZW3K6zmiUJUiQPI0JrnIPLQecA/s1600/thumb-2.asp.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdzAIpkfPXCBHb3yoGLVrrCdSkqaoyF1Zx8UU11X60aSf5x7m8oRFXRiIhoBM_F_QU9QV6jJjkpVFeO5med7hAoSzg-PrGyyL8XadcPFN3gLB5BRCuBJ204VTUtthDFYmh55yvZRr6jaI/s1600/thumb-3.asp.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdzAIpkfPXCBHb3yoGLVrrCdSkqaoyF1Zx8UU11X60aSf5x7m8oRFXRiIhoBM_F_QU9QV6jJjkpVFeO5med7hAoSzg-PrGyyL8XadcPFN3gLB5BRCuBJ204VTUtthDFYmh55yvZRr6jaI/s1600/thumb-3.asp.jpeg" /></a></div><div>Personalized Butterfly Necklace</div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi64-kt-z43cCguIP38U_cbngaH6smQ6fgYC9HKeRxbSXrdhwq-LbB7vR-Oquzqm3eHqZucywgmhr0a3o6sogJWkzgRhS4BIkAlz7gRfkzp6qkyn_ijzPRXvDrJX2ntPMFnY9NTsok92fk/s1600/thumb-4.asp.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi64-kt-z43cCguIP38U_cbngaH6smQ6fgYC9HKeRxbSXrdhwq-LbB7vR-Oquzqm3eHqZucywgmhr0a3o6sogJWkzgRhS4BIkAlz7gRfkzp6qkyn_ijzPRXvDrJX2ntPMFnY9NTsok92fk/s1600/thumb-4.asp.jpeg" /></a></div><div>Custom Engraving</div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-15575568539220825672011-09-01T22:24:00.000-06:002011-09-01T22:24:25.444-06:00Helping Your Relationship Survive LossI wanted to share this <a href="http://www.bereavement-poems-articles.com/articles/infant/101-9-tips-for-grieving-couples.php">article</a> with you. I hope it gives you a few ideas for strengthening your relationship despite the stresses of grief.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #aa224f; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold;">Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples </span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><i>by Lisa Church</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples together, but it can actually do just the opposite. It is possible to emerge on the other side of grief with a closer marriage, but it does take work.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Here are some tips adapted from the book "Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death" that can help your marriage survive the stress of loss:</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">1. Give each other the freedom to grieve in an individual way.<br />
Resist the temptation to feel that your way is the only way to handle loss. Do not be fooled if it seems that your spouse has not been affected by the loss.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">2. Remember the good times.<br />
Think about activities you enjoy as a couple and make time to do them- even if you do not feel up to it yet.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">3. Expect tough times.<br />
Be tolerant with your mate and understand that you are both going to fail each other during this turbulent time.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">4. Do not lash out at one another.<br />
In a weakened state of grief, this will only push you apart. Find constructive ways to release the stress and anger of grief.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">5. Prepare for change.<br />
Loss and grief change people and it will change the face of your marriage. Decide together that this trial will bring you closer and commit to your relationship.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">6. Reach out.<br />
Resist the urge to spend time away from your mate or reach out to others who better understand your grief.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">7. Avoid placing blame.<br />
Tossing accusations at your spouse will only place a wedge in your relationship. Understand that feelings of guilt, anger, and confusion are normal during this time.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">8. Love each other.<br />
Be sure to offer the hugs, cuddling, and love that each partner needs to feel secure and supported. Be sure to resume your physical relationship as soon as possible.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">9. Seek information and support.<br />
Educate yourselves on grief and try to understand one another. If you are having difficulties resolving your grief as a couple and you feel your marriage is in trouble, get help immediately! Do not wait until it is too late to seek help.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There are no easy answers for couples dealing with pregnancy loss. It is crucial that you make the decision to put your marriage first and then do it!</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death is available online at http://www.HopeXchange.com, Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com or by calling HopeXchange Publishing at 757-826-2162.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lisa Church is author of "Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death" and founder of HopeXchange, a company dedicated to helping women and their families facing miscarriage.</span></div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="text" style="color: #515151; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal;">Article Source: <a href="http://www.ezinearticles.com/" style="color: #cc3399; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://ezinearticles.com</a></div></i></div></span>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-54341947463882674552011-08-23T13:00:00.000-06:002011-08-23T13:00:05.542-06:00The Tear Jar Legend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidQp8ej90PzexzoHHEaC2oej5itUSj4ulFIn70Ve8cYExPNkoVvvZuSESjuzWQBmy6kB7M9kVVtZKM68O4XZE6fwXl747hyphenhyphentfdJxkdS86sRi9TdukPY-e48RdO1XNxvvUVWS5ErUaQvIA/s1600/bluetearjar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidQp8ej90PzexzoHHEaC2oej5itUSj4ulFIn70Ve8cYExPNkoVvvZuSESjuzWQBmy6kB7M9kVVtZKM68O4XZE6fwXl747hyphenhyphentfdJxkdS86sRi9TdukPY-e48RdO1XNxvvUVWS5ErUaQvIA/s320/bluetearjar.jpg" width="184" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><h2><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Legend of the Tear Jar</span></strong></h2><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the dry climate of ancient Greece, water was prized above all. Giving up water from one's own body, when crying tears for the dead, was considered a sacrifice. They caught their precious tears in tiny pitchers or "tear jars." The tears became holy water and could be used to sprinkle on doorways to keep out evil, or cool the brow of a sick child</span></div><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The tear jars were kept unpainted until the owner had experienced the death of a parent, sibling, child or spouse. After that, the grieving person decorated the tear jar with intricate designs, and examples of these can still be seen throughout modem Greece.</span></div><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Legends of tear bottles, or lachrymatories, also abound in stories of Egypt and middle eastern societies. In ancient Roman times, mourners filled small glass vials with tears and placed them in tombs as symbols of love & respect. In the Old Testament of the Bible, the notion of collecting tears in a bottle appears in Psalm 56:8.</span></div><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the Victorian era, a tear bottle was one of the greatest gifts you could give someone. It meant that you loved them, that you shared a grief which brought you together.</span></div><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This ancient custom symbolizes the transformation that takes place in people who have grieved deeply. They are not threatened by the grief of people in pain. They have been in the depths of pain themselves, and returned. Like the tear jar, they can now be with others who grieve and catch their tears.<br />
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~Linda May and Pleasant Gill White~</span></div><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKafOlVZfmk5mL4QSppiqYZsZT9VwrM2N21H4O7gqUHE4RdC9bRvWh22KfadlTExaDL3dl-zhEYFwOK_X30HlxbpaO5nSQONXJmcM1Ucmspwt_dEX56rdJ1RW7X_y0EZNKkA1ZxZrEDWY/s1600/Tear+jar.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKafOlVZfmk5mL4QSppiqYZsZT9VwrM2N21H4O7gqUHE4RdC9bRvWh22KfadlTExaDL3dl-zhEYFwOK_X30HlxbpaO5nSQONXJmcM1Ucmspwt_dEX56rdJ1RW7X_y0EZNKkA1ZxZrEDWY/s1600/Tear+jar.JPG" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Tear bottles were common in the first few centuries AD. Small tear shaped bottles were placed as a tribute at the base of a tomb. Sometimes professional mourners were hired to supplement the bereaved family’s tears and extra compensation was paid to those who cried the most and were loudest! Tear bottles reappeared in the 19th century and are strongly associated with Queen Victoria. Some women used tear jars in the customary way, crying into them after the death of a loved one whilst others used them to cry into after their loved one left for the Civil War. A tear bottle known also known as a tear vial, tear catcher or lachrymatory are very collectable items nowadays. This one is from St Pancras and Islington cemetery in London.</span></span></span></div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-22881040932883459982011-08-12T13:07:00.000-06:002011-08-12T13:07:51.158-06:00Caring For Your Child's HeadstoneI thought I'd post some information about headstone care since it's something that we have been working on lately. Our daughter's headstone gets dirty often because it's under a tree. It also started to tilt and we recently fixed that by adding a level layer of small pebbles underneath her stone to even it out. I recently came across another site that endorsed using <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">WD-40</span> to shine the granite on her child's headstone. <i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">I have not tried that yet, but I'm going to try it on a small spot to see if it really works.</span></b></i> We've done Windex before, but it dulls pretty quickly. <br />
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I'm also going to include some info from memorial sites that talk about caring for headstones. Sad that we even have to think about that, but it's still our reality.<br />
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Monica<br />
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<a href="http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/heloise/outdoors/headstone-caring-oct01">How to Care for Headstones--Good Housekeeping</a><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #20124d;"><a href="http://www.headstonesandmemorials.com/How_to_Care_for_Headstones_Caring_for_Your_Granite_Headstone.php">From Memorials and Headstones dot com</a></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.diylife.com/2008/05/26/headstone-cleaning-and-grave-maintenance/">Headstone Cleaning and Grave Maintenance from DIY</a><br />
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Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-64370458014597530282011-07-27T10:24:00.001-06:002011-07-27T10:48:07.352-06:00After infant loss, when should we try again?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;">I saw this <a href="http://www.examiner.com/family-grief-bereavement-in-national/family-grief-and-bereavement-101-after-infant-loss-when-should-we-try-again">article</a> on Examiner.com and thought it was interesting. I know everyone has their own time table, and this can be a sensitive subject. I think the important thing is knowing <b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">if</span></i></b> you want to try again, and if so, waiting until <b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">you</span></i></b> feel ready. That can be very different for each person. However, I thought I'd post this article and see what you thought. </span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> After infant loss, when should we try again?</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><div style="text-align: center;">by Carol A. Ranney</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">Whether you have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or an infant death, often your first impulse is to try again. The loss of your baby has left a huge vacuum, and there is nothing that will fill it and relieve the terrible aching emptiness. The only possibly comforting thought is to be pregnant again, to feel once again the anticipation of another precious baby in your arms.</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">Grieving is not only very hard work, it is terribly painful. To face again each day the absence of someone you loved with your whole being, to try and work through the questions, the anger, confusion, sadness and weariness of grief, to endure the gnawing vacuum inside you that constantly cries out for relief, is agonizing work. As easily as water runs downhill, your thoughts go to another baby, another pregnancy, and some relief from constant sorrow. A friend who became pregnant not long after her toddler died said to me, “It feels so good to be happy again.”</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">However, grief will not be dismissed. It has integrated itself into your life, and will not be satisfied until you have completely worked through it and emerged from the other side, a changed person. There are no shortcuts through grief, as tempting as the illusion might seem. The choice to have a child too soon after the death of another one may also be motivated not so much by the desire for another child as the longing to fill that empty hole in your hearts.</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">You are grieving a unique, never-to-be replicated child. Even though you may never have had the chance to look into his or her face, your dreams were whole and complete, for this child and all he or she would become. When you have had an early miscarriage, you mourn the loss of your “dream child,” the one you envisioned, dreamed about, imagined a relationship with, and gave your whole heart to. Perhaps others did not yet know you were pregnant, and there will be a deep loneliness in mourning your loss.</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">If you have had a stillborn child or have lost an infant, you mourn the loss of the brief time you had, the moments of memory as well as all the future dreams, hopes and plans. Because this child was not known by many others, those around you will likely expect you to recover as rapidly emotionally as you do physically. A friend said to me once of a young woman who had had a stillborn child a week before, “She’s doing much better now, I think she’s come to terms with it.”</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">A week, however, is not even long enough to get past the shock and begin to comprehend what has happened. Many weeks will pass before the full impact of the loss will be felt, and by that time, most people will have forgotten or assume that you have "moved past it." Grieving a pre-born infant is a lonely experience, and it is important to get all the support you can, to affirm your right to grieve as well as to walk through it with you.</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">While a pregnancy, or thoughts of a pregnancy, seem so comforting and hopeful during this time, the reality is that you will never again experience the innocent excitement and anticipation of your earlier pregnancy. You now know the truth: not all pregnancies go to term, and there is no guarantee with any pregnancy. To deal with this reality is hard enough without struggling with mourning your loss at the same time.</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">You also may be stricken with guilt if you become pregnant again too soon. Many people experience the regret of not having given their deceased child his or her own time to be remembered, mourned, and memorialized, and feel that a subsequent pregnancy is a betrayal of their child who died. Another problem that arises with a pregnancy too soon after loss is the constant fear of losing the new pregnancy, and along with that, a fear of bonding fully with the expected baby, knowing the pain ahead if this pregnancy, too, is lost. These feelings may persist even after the new baby arrives safely.</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">Counseling can be very helpful after loss, as you begin to think about trying again. Having someone to talk through the experience with, whether a grief counselor, your obstetrician or midwife, or a trusted friend, can help to clarify your thoughts and feelings and help you understand where you are in the grief process and whether or not you are ready. Some people decide to designate the first year as a year of mourning their deceased child. This may be too long for you, or not long enough. </div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">A medical opinion is also important. Trying again too soon, before the woman's body has had time to adjust and heal, can jeopardize a future pregnancy. You circumstances and cause of loss need to be thoroughly understood before making this life-changing decision.</div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">There is no one answer to when it is time to try again. Your situation is as unique as you and the child you lost. Everyone grieves differently, and at a different pace. Give yourself adequate time to fully experience your grief and comprehend your loss, and to come to a degree of peace with it. Wait until you can anticipate a new baby with minimal fear, and even though you are now aware of the risks of loving and the pain of losing, with real joy at the thought of a new baby.</div><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div></span></span></span>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-59212315571142165562011-07-19T12:13:00.000-06:002011-07-19T12:13:53.419-06:00Surprising Facts About SADS (Unexplained Stillbirth)I saw these facts about stillbirth information on the website <a href="http://www.stillnomore.org/index.htm">Still No More</a>. I wanted to share them with you all. It is truly amazing that there isn't more research done to find the cause of SADS (Unexplained Stillbirth). This information was taken directly from their <a href="http://www.stillnomore.org/main.htm">website</a>.....<br />
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<center><span style="color: #f00000; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: x-large;">SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT S.A.D.S. </span></center><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></b><h1 style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16pt; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; page-break-after: avoid;"> </h1><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style3" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">We’ve all heard about SIDS – the sudden unexplained deaths of babies in their cribs that occur for no determinable medical reason. And yet fifteen times as many babies die due to </span><span class="style1" style="color: red; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><strong>SADS</strong></span><span class="style3" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"> - sudden antenatal death syndrome - about which little is written or spoken.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style3" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="style3" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;">On average there are over 2,000 SIDS deaths in the United States every year. Stillbirth deaths number close to <span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>30,000 babies</strong></span>.</div><div class="style3" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="style5" style="color: red; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><strong>Stillbirth is the death of a baby in its mother’s womb, after 20 weeks gestational age and up to the moment of delivery, which is when many babies die…. at the “finish line”!</strong></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Stillbirth is unpredictable and random. It often strikes like lightening in a thunderstorm. There is no way to know when or where it will strike next. The reason is one-half to two-thirds of stillbirths occur for indeterminable reasons. They are the ones that cannot be attributed to a specific identifiable medical cause. And yet there must be one. These babies, like grown ups, don't die for no reason. We just need to find the reason!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Because of its randomness, and the lack of any warning, stillbirth, can be said to be "<span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>An Equal Opportunity Destroyer of Dreams</strong></span>". It cuts across socio-economic classes, races, body types, religions, and maternal age groups. <span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>No woman is immune from stillbirth</strong></span>.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>Even women who have had successful prior births can suffer a stillbirth loss</strong></span>.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">That so many stillbirths occur at or near late term - when the developing baby is well beyond the point of viability and could survive outside the womb - is devastating.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Autopsies, when performed, rarely uncover any cause of stillbirth not already apparent from a physical examination of the baby and placenta.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">There is no uniform stillbirth post-mortem (autopsy) protocol in use today anywhere in the United States. Every autopsy is done according to local practice. <span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>Because of that fact there is no uniform data available for analysis</strong></span>.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">When a post-mortem procedure is performed, it is rare for the mother to be interviewed, this in spite of the fact she may have vital clues to her baby's cause of death. A uniform protocol would address this shortcoming among other things.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>There is no centralized repository for autopsy data</strong></span>. If there were it would make analysis and comparison of findings possible. Imagine the chaos that would reign if police kept fingerprint cards in each department's file cabinet. Crimes would never be solved, just as stillbirth isn't being solved because the data - when autopsies are performed - is not made available to researchers but kept at each hospital, if it is saved at all.</div><div class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">The practice of “<span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>counting kicks</strong></span>” – fetal movements – is a low-tech test women can do at home on a regular daily basis. By monitoring her baby’s rate of activity she can identify any sudden change and immediately have her baby evaluated. Sudden changes can be a sign your baby is in distress. <span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>The National Stillbirth Society, in cooperation with Dr. Jason Collins, founder of The Pregnancy Institute, has a pamphlet entitled "Kicks Count". It's available for download free of charge at</strong></span> <a href="http://www.protectyourpregnancy.com/" target="_blank">www.protectyourpregnancy.com</a>.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Another sign of possible fetal distress - other than a change in the frequency or intensity of fetal movements - <span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>is hiccups</strong></span>. Hiccups often accompany cases of cord compression. A pregnant woman who becomes aware of her baby having multiple episodes of hiccups lasting 10 minutes or more should have an ultrasound examination of baby's umbilical cord for any indication of compression or entanglement.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">There is virtually nothing a woman can do - or not do - that can cause the intentional or accidental stillbirth of a baby in late term. "Substance abuse", if engaged in, typically causes miscarriages early in the pregnancy, but not late term stillbirths. ("Substance abuse" can cause birth defects, however, and for that reason should always be avoided.)</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Late term stillbirths remain a case of "natal roulette", played by nature, and is as deadly as the well-known "Russian Roulette". All a mother can do is be on the alert for - and act on - any symptoms of fetal distress and have regular stress tests. The National Stillbirth Society has posted a <span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>Preferred Pregnancy Management Protocol</strong></span> provided by Dr. Collins of The Pregnancy Institute. Few insurance plans cover all of the recommended testing listed in this protocol but mothers-to-be may want to come out of pocket themselves just so they can have benefit of the added level of monitoring. The protocol can be found at <a href="http://www.protectyourpregnancy.com/" target="_blank">www.protectyourpregnancy.com</a>.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Mothers wishing to exercise an abundance of caution can investigate the availability of night-time fetal heartbeat monitoring via the Internet. A relatively recent procedure it is available through The Pregnancy Institute founded by Dr. Collins. A "white paper" explaining the procedure can be found at<a href="http://www.protectyourpregnancy.com/" target="_blank">www.protectyourpregnancy.com</a>.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>One in every 115 deliveries is a dead baby</strong></span>. If deliveries were aircraft landings, Phoenix Sky Harbor airport, with about 700 landings daily, would have 6 fatal crashes every day. How long does one think the FAA would allow that to continue? Twenty-four hours? <span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>And yet as a nation we tolerate 80 pregnancies on average "crashing" daily in the U. S.</strong></span></div><div class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong><br />
</strong></span></div><div class="style2" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; text-align: left;"><span class="style4" style="color: red;"><strong>Until all causes of stillbirth are identified there can be no cure</strong></span>. Until there is a cure, there can be no peace of mind for pregnant women. Babies will continue to be vulnerable to "reproductive roulette", where the majority is lucky...... but 30,000 a year aren't.</div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-58268516922241093462011-07-15T08:45:00.000-06:002011-07-15T08:45:27.915-06:00Remembrance<h2 align="center" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; color: #57596f; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><strong>Remembrance</strong></h2><div align="center" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; color: #336666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br />
Tears fall from my eyes<br />
as softly the memories flow,<br />
with the tears, salty on my tongue.<br />
I miss you so much.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is frightening<br />
except for the thought<br />
of seeing you again;<br />
another time, another place.<br />
<br />
I hear your voice...<br />
in my dreams you come.<br />
We talk and laugh<br />
about silly, important things.<br />
<br />
Each day without you is less;<br />
less bright, less full, ...less.<br />
I feel your love with me,<br />
yet, I want you to hold.<br />
<br />
Faith in God eases the pain<br />
for moments, sometimes days.<br />
Still, I cry; but not for you,<br />
for the loss I feel in me.</div><div align="center" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; color: #336666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br />
<em class="small" style="font-size: small;">by Brenda Penepent<br />
In Loving Memory of her daughter Carrie Carpenter</em></div><div><em class="small" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</em></div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-85779959904971383162011-07-06T08:24:00.000-06:002011-07-06T08:24:09.478-06:00A Lasting Footprint<div style="text-align: left;">I'm really excited today to have a guest post by Rachel from <a href="http://alastingfootprint.blogspot.com/">A Lasting Footprint</a> and mom to Emily. Rachel has also been busy putting together a <a href="http://paildirectory.blogspot.com/">Pregnancy and Infant Loss Blog Directory</a> to help angel parents stay connected and find the resources they need. She has done such beautiful things to honor her Emily and all those that have lost their sweet babies! You can read Rachel's guest post below........</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4_xvL_5FdyxKuuY_VM9pdpffbl5hQ8nhRu_KZ5BMcnIxM82UM-UX3F8yYVYiazUCT4r6oJYpbnooBHfIDqz8yV72RbBDeaE_P8jK0zWRGUo98axZ4ihG0lG2KvQS0Za02zqSHKLAHxHw/s1600/rachel_header.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4_xvL_5FdyxKuuY_VM9pdpffbl5hQ8nhRu_KZ5BMcnIxM82UM-UX3F8yYVYiazUCT4r6oJYpbnooBHfIDqz8yV72RbBDeaE_P8jK0zWRGUo98axZ4ihG0lG2KvQS0Za02zqSHKLAHxHw/s640/rachel_header.png" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our daughter Emily Faith was born on January 26, 2011 at 23 weeks 3 days. She lived for almost 10 hours and then went into the arms of her Heavenly Father. Two days after Emily died I started my blog as a way to express my grief. In the days after Emily died I found some wonderful women who also blogged about their journey through grief and it was so helpful to me to find other moms who had lost a child and that life does go on. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I decided early on that I did not want Emily’s memory to die with her, that I wanted to do something to give back to the baby loss community. For several months I have tossed around ideas, but recently I decided on my project. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have created the Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Blog Directory. There is another directory that was so helpful to me in the first few days, but I soon realized that it has not been updated in over a year. It was this realization that started me thinking about starting a new directory. I am pleased to announce that two weeks ago the new blog directory went live. I have been overwhelmed by the response. I invite you to visit the Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Blog Directory, and please submit your blog to be added to the directory.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKfs0DFeM2GBL5XOtxYFbnjFf8rGVY97DlETQMsZA8DFtxHoZiTdmDPCn6ujjiU-mkpT1INV1C6CkJ2q8a-CjU95R2a1zFbGyJ8NewEp-7I02tbsnzAdMgrzfNQnVCN4dZbka7oWItws/s1600/IMG_9708.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKfs0DFeM2GBL5XOtxYFbnjFf8rGVY97DlETQMsZA8DFtxHoZiTdmDPCn6ujjiU-mkpT1INV1C6CkJ2q8a-CjU95R2a1zFbGyJ8NewEp-7I02tbsnzAdMgrzfNQnVCN4dZbka7oWItws/s320/IMG_9708.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNqj8V32j2B0t8pdwcKA8Ua92zapMFIfvsvggHhCRE7Xlk5g6fhu_SWCAkJ_TSP0u67ZkBCx3mcFp-rYxLZVmQQRwcYTDOGoBepj8Ow_YPLYKpuDx_vTxZxOg38krRWxToHnn95F1x27s/s1600/IMG_9710.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNqj8V32j2B0t8pdwcKA8Ua92zapMFIfvsvggHhCRE7Xlk5g6fhu_SWCAkJ_TSP0u67ZkBCx3mcFp-rYxLZVmQQRwcYTDOGoBepj8Ow_YPLYKpuDx_vTxZxOg38krRWxToHnn95F1x27s/s320/IMG_9710.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Emily Faith’s Story<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">(This is the shorter version of Emily’s story. To read the full story please go </span><a href="http://alastingfootprint.blogspot.com/p/emily-faiths-story.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Our story started in November 2006 when my husband and I met on Match.com. We were married on February 23, 2008, and on January 14, 2009, we welcomed our first child Madalyn into the world 5 weeks early. She was healthy and we took her home a few days later. We knew that we wanted to add at least one more child to our family, but were not sure when that would be. On September 14, 2010, we got a positive pregnancy test. We were excited for the arrival of our 2</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">nd</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> child. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">From the beginning, the pregnancy was very different from when I was pregnant with Maddie. I started spotting at 5 weeks, but no reason could be determined and after a day or so the spotting stopped and the pregnancy progressed easily.</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">At our first official doctor’s appointment at 10 weeks we discussed our concerns over having another preterm delivery. I fall into a category of 10% of women that they have no explanation for why they deliver early. It is not very comforting to have your doctor tell you “we don’t know why it happened and we don’t know if it will happen again.” However, the doctor told us that research suggested that a weekly progesterone shot, starting at 15 weeks and continuing through 35 weeks, helped prolong pregnancy in over 50% of women. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">During the first 15 weeks, there had been some minimal spotting, but it had always been really light and only lasted a day or so. So, when I started spotting two days after my first progesterone shot and it went on for several days I began to get worried. When I went in for my shot at 16 weeks I mentioned the spotting and the doctor saw me that morning. He was not sure what was happening, but did not seem concerned. The spotting stopped that day and was gone for several weeks. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Then, the Saturday before Christmas I started spotting again. It was heavier and so I called and talked to the doctor on call. He did not seem very concerned since I was not having any contractions. He told me to wait until Monday and mention it to my doctor. By Monday the spotting had stopped, so I mentioned it to the nurse and let it go at that. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">On January 7, 2011, I started spotting again and this time also passed a blood clot. I immediately called the doctor on call and he did not seem concerned since I was still not contracting. But I was scared so we went to the ER to be seen. We spent 4 hours in the ER that day and were sent home with instructions for modified bed rest.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Just 3 days later on January 10</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> we had an ultrasound to check growth and we also found out we were expecting another girl. There was a bit of discussion that the baby was measuring a bit small and that maybe they should change my due date, but no changes were made. Our Due date was May 23</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">rd</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The next week was great, no spotting or bleeding. We celebrated Maddie’s 2</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">nd</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> birthday and started our baby registry for our new little one. Our next doctor’s appointment was scheduled for January 24</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">; we never made it to that appointment. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">On the evening of January 18</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">, I felt like I had horrible gas. I decided that was what it was and went to bed. By 4AM I realized that I was having contractions. I started timing them, hoping they were Braxton Hicks contractions and would go away. But they didn’t. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">At 8AM I called the doctor’s office and by 9:30AM I was at the doctor’s office. They did an ultrasound and determined that my cervix had thinned from the last ultrasound. The doctor put me on a med to try and stop the contractions and sent me home. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I took it easy the rest of the day. The contractions stopped for a while but by the next morning they were back, so we went to the hospital. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We got to the hospital about 5AM and saw the doctor at 7AM. During the time between they tried to monitor the baby, but it’s hard to keep a 22-week baby on a monitor because there is so much room for the baby to move. They also had me mark when I was having a contraction. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Once the doctor came in, I was started on Ibuprofen to stop the contractions. It worked and I was sent home after 6 hours, with instructions to rest, but not to take anything. I spent the rest of Thursday and all of Friday resting, but by Friday evening the contractions had returned. I spoke with the doctor on call and he told me to take more ibuprofen and see if that worked. It did work for a while but at 5AM on Saturday I woke up with bleeding so we got dressed and went to the hospital. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I was monitored in the ER first because there were no beds available in L&D. In the ER the doctor did an ultrasound and discovered that my cervix had shortened even more. I went from 4cm on January 10</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">; to 2.5cm on January 19</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">; to 1.3cm on January 22. We had been told that 4cm was normal; 2.5cm was border-line and 1.5cm was a concern. As soon as the doctor knew the cervix length he said I could not get out of bed and immediately put in a catheter. Not the most fun experience in the world, but they thought it would help. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Within the hour I was moved to L&D and put into Trendelenburg.</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">They also started me on an antibiotic in case I had an infection, Ibuprofen to stop the contractions and Zantac to help with the heartburn. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The plan was simple: see what would happen over the next day or so. I responded well to the Ibuprofen so I was moved to another room that was less busy and they continued monitoring me. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">On January 23</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">rd</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> I was doing so well that they removed the catheter and allowed me to get up and go to the bathroom. The doctor had even talked about letting me go home that afternoon. But after some discussion she agreed to let me stay until the morning and get my weekly shot before letting me go home. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I am so glad that she listened to me and let me stay because things got crazy after that. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">By 4AM the next day, I was contracting and bleeding again. It was decided that I needed to be airlifted to a hospital 300 miles away. Usually they will not even think about a transfer until 24 weeks gestation, but by a miracle the Chief Doctor agreed to take me (I was only 23 weeks at the time of transfer). </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The rest of the day is mostly a blur of being transferred to a new hospital, meeting a whole new team of doctors and undergoing many tests. I had to do all this on my own since my husband was taking care of things at home before he could drive over and be with me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It was discovered at the new hospital that I was 1cm dilated and the bag of water had slipped down causing an hourglass effect. I was so nervous to cough or sneeze or really even move, but the doctors assured me that it was all okay. I need not have worried, my membrane never ruptured.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">January 25</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> was a good day. No contractions and very little bleeding. We were very encouraged and began to think maybe this pregnancy would last for several more weeks. Around noon Ron sent a text to our family saying, “Update… Today has been a good news day. Baby is no longer Breech. Rachel’s bleeding has slowed down and she has not had any contractions for over 13 hours! Thank you for all your comments and prayers!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">That night we spent an hour looking at names and decided on a name for our daughter. I just had a feeling that we needed to do it that night. I am so glad that we took the time that night since we would be in no frame of mind to come up with a name the next day. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I had a really rough night, lots of contractions and bleeding, the nurse later told me that she was pretty sure I would deliver in the next 24 hours based on what was going on with my body.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">By 5am things were really starting to get intense, and by about 9am, when the doctor checked me I was already 10cm dilated. Emily Faith was born at 12:10pm fully enclosed in her bag of water. The doctors ruptured the membrane and took her to the warming room, she was alive. A few minutes later they brought her by for me to see on their way to the NICU. I remember thinking she looked like a little elf, so perfect, but so tiny. She weighed 15.3 ounces and was 13.4 inches long.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Just before 3pm we were told I needed to come to the NICU because Emily was not going to make it. I had still been recovering from the birth and the loss of blood. I quickly got up, but before I could make it to the NICU my husband came back and told me that she had died. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I still wanted to see her so I was transferred to a wheeled chair and we began the trip to the NICU. But before we left my room the doctor came running down the hallway with a smile on his face. After they had stopped trying to resuscitate Emily and turned off the machines she started breathing on her own. The doctor told us he had never seen that happen before. It was a miracle.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We finally made it to the NICU to see Emily and I got to touch her and spend time with her. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The rest of that day was spent with family and friends who had made the drive to be with us and with Emily in the NICU. About 8pm everyone had left for the night and we went back to the NICU to be with Emily. We spent a lot of time talking to the doctor about how much we wanted to do and for how long. While we were there Emily had to be resuscitated two more times. When her stats started to drop a third time we decided that it was time to stop, she was getting worse and the doctors had done everything they could for her. We decided to spend her last few minutes of life holding her and letting her know how much she was loved. So the doctors disconnected all the wires and tubes and gave Emily to me. She was still alive and breathing when she was placed on my chest. She actually took a few more breaths while I was holding her. I am so thankful that we had that time with her before she died. She knew she was loved and the three of us has that precious time together. Emily Faith died at 10:30pm on January 26, 2011. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I was discharged from the hospital the next morning.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmTLbeZ9xOHRsfyVI5psO24QHeJpUewCUFQ-xtXhIhzD_5WlXeqXpTtuS_fyOzDKkRIR6zBLy61XqjtlI_N8-zNCMrrgxB5SO3DBfsNqJVCahVjZWOJCtgvwQ1EaiWD6s544K9rGLrA8/s1600/P1000041.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmTLbeZ9xOHRsfyVI5psO24QHeJpUewCUFQ-xtXhIhzD_5WlXeqXpTtuS_fyOzDKkRIR6zBLy61XqjtlI_N8-zNCMrrgxB5SO3DBfsNqJVCahVjZWOJCtgvwQ1EaiWD6s544K9rGLrA8/s320/P1000041.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5iNwVk83gCrxfuj1MhiWYnGFlXtVWiZ6BJm4mUWzuiAIlT-qhF3043fW8jkLJz-ihfjFb5Mpve0n3l_DbkakwGqF6r6_tAJs4EzV2rrflIbks1LCl4Lwaxy-Q_kw9TkzGznz_oYS0OME/s1600/P1000044.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5iNwVk83gCrxfuj1MhiWYnGFlXtVWiZ6BJm4mUWzuiAIlT-qhF3043fW8jkLJz-ihfjFb5Mpve0n3l_DbkakwGqF6r6_tAJs4EzV2rrflIbks1LCl4Lwaxy-Q_kw9TkzGznz_oYS0OME/s320/P1000044.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 19.2pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 19.2pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">Thank you Rachel for sharing your sweet Emily with us and for putting together such a Baby Loss Directory!</span></div><!--EndFragment-->Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-59208488761842196872011-06-23T09:24:00.000-06:002011-06-23T09:24:06.420-06:00God's Little OnesAlways on the lookout for additional resources, I wanted to share with you <a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/">God's Little Ones</a>. They beautifully sculpt life size dolls of micro-preemies, preemies and full term babies. They also sculpt the entire gestational developmental process, <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">so be forewarned that this site might be difficult for some to view</span></i>. This is what they say on their website about what they do......<div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwn-Xi2tymQc4YIyYcnqHRSg6ISkQnEe5EAkTPKQENWk_b-p8rasAmxaJoPzeJFlRkFcsQNL6aOMdFTUnW6lJNXvt3PzzohjD2OwsLN3CbNANW3YAqJ_heXGzmb1wTqweVohb4Vz37-98/s1600/portraitdolls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwn-Xi2tymQc4YIyYcnqHRSg6ISkQnEe5EAkTPKQENWk_b-p8rasAmxaJoPzeJFlRkFcsQNL6aOMdFTUnW6lJNXvt3PzzohjD2OwsLN3CbNANW3YAqJ_heXGzmb1wTqweVohb4Vz37-98/s320/portraitdolls.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div><div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: center;"><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;">These dolls are: medically accurate, anatomically correct as requested by hospitals for prenatal education, life size, <u><b style="line-height: 19px; min-height: 19px;">checked by parents and doctors for accuracy in size, detail and proportions</b></u>. These dolls are approved by obstetricians, used by dulas in educating their clients, used in court to show the development of an unborn child.They are also used as healing dolls, for grieving parents who have lost a baby through miscarriage, still birth and abortion. </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: center;"><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;">Parents use them to show their family how much of a Miracle their preterm baby is or was. They bring comfort to many and prove that the unborn are human beings deserving love and respect.</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: center;"><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"> </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; text-align: center;"><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;">The dolls are </span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"><u><a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/Parentcontract.html" target="_self"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">portrait</span></a></u></span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/Parentcontract.html" target="_self"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"> dolls sculpted </span></a></span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"><u><a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/Parentcontract.html" target="_self"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">by request of the parents</span></a></u></span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"> who have </span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/sorry.html" target="_self"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">signed a contract</span></a></span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"> allowing their child's sculpted image to be displayed here. These dolls are requested as </span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/micropreemies.html" target="_self"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">memorial dolls</span></a></span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"> or dolls that </span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"><u><a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/catalog.html" target="_self"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">celebrate the miracle birth</span></a></u></span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.godslittleones.com/catalog.html" target="_self"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"> </span></a></span><span class="size12 Helvetica12" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18px; min-height: 18px;">of real living children. The parents have supplied all medical records that validate the accuracy of these models as life size portrait sculptures. </span></div></div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-6363417882000401052011-06-20T09:14:00.000-06:002011-06-20T09:14:00.924-06:00Tragedy Quote<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I love this quote and wanted to share it with you.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Feel free to share! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> All I ask is a link back to Honoring Our Angels.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheznQwsnNumezSOl7Z5Ov-oiOeHLX1ruXYbnyzTm1bi_Vxuhi8KkQYhvRfxKxMcXinCCgZ9xke3uz9UR3frwDUgJTxQUP35pgLCKK8mbf4X9VcroPu9pUj_m_GoXdloLnAqI9A6aKIdE0/s1600/Brault+Quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheznQwsnNumezSOl7Z5Ov-oiOeHLX1ruXYbnyzTm1bi_Vxuhi8KkQYhvRfxKxMcXinCCgZ9xke3uz9UR3frwDUgJTxQUP35pgLCKK8mbf4X9VcroPu9pUj_m_GoXdloLnAqI9A6aKIdE0/s640/Brault+Quote.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-4122330053966279252011-06-19T09:45:00.002-06:002011-06-20T12:17:34.941-06:00Happy Father's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Happy Father's Day to all Dads!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ12PYIT6xRtE712fhyylnenwLHJ5UK3z_CcnCvVWjEDivxB_WxlZkljIOz8ov9TvW_j-LxYeFXzJwLK7z75VDeYu-6RlX2g4UnocJvTVUCy0FRY4Fgh-RQk18t5zmPlOKEEWHGA75U8k/s1600/fathers_day_round.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ12PYIT6xRtE712fhyylnenwLHJ5UK3z_CcnCvVWjEDivxB_WxlZkljIOz8ov9TvW_j-LxYeFXzJwLK7z75VDeYu-6RlX2g4UnocJvTVUCy0FRY4Fgh-RQk18t5zmPlOKEEWHGA75U8k/s400/fathers_day_round.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974656877728680685.post-54149881054332924892011-06-17T14:51:00.000-06:002011-06-17T14:51:39.693-06:00Grieving on Father's Day<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 48px;"><b> </b></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica;"><b></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica;"><b><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">I saw this great article on <a href="http://www.examiner.com/family-grief-bereavement-in-national/grieving-on-father-s-day">examiner (dot) com</a> about Father's Day and Grief. I wanted to share it with you. Pass it on to all the bereaved father's and let them know that you are thinking of them and haven't forgotten their pain.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuRt3m1kN341rys1c_bMe4eQHR9BS2mRVcjM-xwaoD8nmp244Tgb83fR3A5X1GoCMB1JU7KwcLex6q2job2shC1vpnH4eI5Pt7BczsYwue7rSbjxOMzqYwQlNf-kj27Tcix81FaCBtQ_M/s1600/pic_bereavement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="335" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuRt3m1kN341rys1c_bMe4eQHR9BS2mRVcjM-xwaoD8nmp244Tgb83fR3A5X1GoCMB1JU7KwcLex6q2job2shC1vpnH4eI5Pt7BczsYwue7rSbjxOMzqYwQlNf-kj27Tcix81FaCBtQ_M/s400/pic_bereavement.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Grieving on Father's Day</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><!--StartFragment--> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 10.0pt; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">By Carol A Ranney<a href="http://www.examiner.com/family-grief-and-bereavement-in-national/carol-a-ranney"></a></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Fathers are often referred to as the hidden grievers. When a child dies, thoughts generally go to the mothers—the agony they most certainly are suffering, their loneliness, emptiness, now that someone who was once a part of them is gone. Women tend to grieve outwardly, talking to their friends, crying, seeking out supportive groups and friends to be with and with whom to share their burden of sorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Men, on the other hand, have a much more inward grieving style. Men are usually more factual than emotional. They accept more readily that nothing they say or do will reverse the situation; their child is irrecoverably gone from this earth. They may weep at times, but that is not their primary mode of mourning. A man may throw himself into his job with fervor, perhaps to help alleviate the feeling that as the “family protector,” he has failed to keep each member safe. He may begin or continue a project, or start a new activity, in memory of his loved one, to whom he dedicates his efforts. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Men are more concrete in their thinking, but that does not mean they grieve less. What it often does mean is that they get less emotional support; people see them return to work, keep busy at home, and assume “they’re over it.” Little do others realize that men agonize through their grief and mourning fully as much as women, and appreciate just as much the caring word, the hug, a recalled memory, a shared moment of silence.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Perhaps the best gift you could ever give a grieving father on Father’s Day is the recognition of his loss, and affirming him as a father in mourning. A book especially for men in grief; a card recognizing that he is missing one of those who made him a father, yet he is still a father; a gift in memory of his child; or simply a hug, an arm around the shoulder, or a compassionate word will assure him that although he does not grieve outwardly much, those who truly care about him have not forgotten. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> For Dads of any age or stage in life, who have suffered loss:</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Books:</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Grief-Observed-C-S-Lewis/dp/0060652381/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832277&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">A Grief Observed</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by C.S. Lewis. The writer’s journal following the death of his beloved wife, as he struggled to hold onto his faith. A meaningful book after any loss. (Bantam Doubleday Dell, 1976, $11.99)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Anna-Daughters-Life-William-Loizeaux/dp/1559701978/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832350&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Anna: A Daughter’s Life</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by William Loizeaux. A father’s story of the loss of his infant daughter. (Arcade Pub., New York, 1993. $19.95)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Heaven-Randy-Alcorn/dp/0842379428/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832391&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Heaven</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by Randy Alcorn. What will heaven really be like? Picture heaven as Scripture describes it—bright, vibrant, physical, free from suffering and sin, brimming with Christ’s presence, wonderous beauty, and the richness of human culture as God intended. (Tyndale House Publishers, 2004, $24.99)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Dreams-Gods-Unexpected-Pathway/dp/1578565065/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832228&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Shattered Dreams, God’s Unexpected Pathway to Joy</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by Larry Crabb. An excellent book when questions are unanswered and God “doesn’t make sense.” (Waterbrook Press, 2002. $13.99) </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/When-there-Are-No-Words/dp/0934793573/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832481&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by Charlie Walton. “…a conversation between a sensitive, articulate victim of sudden, tragic loss and any person struggling to endure the numbing first hours and weeks of a life catastrophe.” From the back cover. Highly recommended. (Pathfinder Pub., 1996, $12.95)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/When-Good-bye-Forever-John-Bramblett/dp/034536399X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832696&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">When Good-Bye is Forever: Learning to Live Again After the Loss of a Child A Bereaved Father’s Inspiring Guide to Overcoming Tragedy</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by John Bramblett. Guilt, sorting out your feelings toward a responsible third party, marriage survival from a dad’s perspective. (Ballentine Books, 1991) Out of print; available through Amazon Used Books<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Grace-Disguised-Soul-Grows-Through/dp/B000OT30WM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832776&sr=1-2"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">A Grace Disguised</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by Gerald Sittser. On a family trip, the Sittser’s van was struck by a drunk driver, and in a moment’s time he lost his wife, four year old daughter, and mother, leaving him a single parent to his three surviving children. This book tells of his long journey through grief to healing. (Zondervan Press, 1998, paperback, $9.99) Also available in </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Recibir-Gracia-Escondida-mantenernos-p%C3%A9rdida/dp/0829745602/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832776&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Spanish</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">. </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lament-Son-Nicholas-Wolterstorff/dp/080280294X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832860&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> Lament for a Son</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by Nicholas Wolterstorff. A son was killed in a climbing accident in 1986. This short book is highly recommended by almost everyone who reads it. (Eerdmans Publishing, 1987, $12.00) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Swallowed-Snake-Gift-Masculine-Healing/dp/0965464911/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832912&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by Thomas Golden. Powerful ways to heal, how the genders differ in their healing, and how loss impacts the entire family. (Golden Healing Publishers, 2000, $13.95) </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Grieving-Unexpected-Dr-Gary-Leblanc/dp/1553064909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243832961&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> Grieving the Unexpected: The Suicide of a Son</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by Dr. Gary Leblanc. Dr. LeBlanc openly discusses his family’s struggle to survive such a dreadful event, the variables that sustained them during the initial shock and the healing process that enabled them to commence their journey towards wholeness. (Essence Publishing, 2003, $8.95)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/When-Faces-Grief-Know-Grieving/dp/1885933274/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243833007&sr=1-1"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">When a Man Faces Grief/A Man You Know is Grieving</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> by James E. Miller, Willowgreen Publishing; 1998, $6.95. Two books in one. One half is for men who are grieving, with 12 helpful suggestions, each a chapter by itself. The other half is for those who want to understand and help men who are grieving, also in twelve short, helpful chapters. (Willowgreen, $6.95)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Websites for Men:</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><a href="http://www.webhealing.com/"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Crisis, Grief and Healing</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> Tom Golden’s website dealing with men’s grief. Offers a message board, chat room, articles, book excerpts, book ordering information and more. Tom Golden is recognized as the foremost authority on men and grief.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://members.tripod.com/~Lifegard/index-4.html"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Lamenting Sons: Fathers and Grief </span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> This site is full of information and links for men who have suffered the loss of a child. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Music/DVD:</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><a href="http://www.tearsoup.com/pl/music.htm"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Songs of Hope & Healing and Songs of Inspiration</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> - Eric Gnezda Two CD collections of songs of loss, comfort and solace. The second one includes Blossoms Of Hope, an anthem of triumph and survivorship for those facing adversity and loss. $10.00 ea. </span><a href="http://%20http://www.gettingthroughit.com/"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> Getting Through It: Music and Words to Help You with your Loss</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> Various artists. Songs include Walking Through the Fire, Band of Angels, By and By, Amazing Grace, Part of My Life, and Tears in Heaven. $14.95 + s&h </span><a href="http://www.centering.org/index.php?page=book&id=86&pid=21"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">At Water’s Edge</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> DVD. Relax to the Peace of Nature and the Power of Music. A stress managment tool kit. A beautiful composition of real-time scenes in nature, each captured at the side of a lake, a pond, a mountain stream or the ocean. The viewer is visually drawn into the picture as though actually sitting outside along the water's edge. Experience being at the threshold of a peaceful and calming place. $19.95.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 14pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Newsletter:</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.brokenheartslivinghope.com/"><span style="color: #31679a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Broken Hearts, Living Hope</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">, free monthly newsletter published in Tigard, OR and distributed to families worldwide for families who have suffered the loss of a child.</span></span></div><!--EndFragment--> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <!--EndFragment--> </div></b></span>Monicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03549547447249404443noreply@blogger.com10